Who Will Win The PGA Championship? The Answer Lies in Apparel Scripting

Written by: Tony Korologos | Wednesday, August 12th, 2015
Categories: Boneheads • Jordan Spieth • Miscellaneous • PGA Championship • PGA Tour • Pro Golf • Tiger Woods
Tags: Apparel Scripts

I get out, they pull me back in…

I can’t resist another commentary, okay rant, on apparel scripting. Yes, one billleeeeeooon times is apparently not enough. It’s PGA Championship week. The best part of a major championship week is not the drama, not the best players in the world competing on incredible golf courses under immense pressure… nooooo. The best part is the apparel scripting. PR firms and apparel companies release their “scripts” and lazy journalists blindly repost it because, well, it’s much easier than actually writing something useful and informative.

I look differently at apparel scripts. I analyze them for hours, even days. There is brilliance in these scripts. The last two major championships Tiger Woods’s pant scripter only put two pairs in the script, essentially predicting missed cuts. Boom. The pant scripter nailed both.

Below are a few PGA Championship apparel scripts with my expert analysis, and grades:

2015-pga-championship-apparel-scripts-01

Above is the apparel scripting for Dustin Johnson. My first comment is that I’m amazed they were able to find four guys who look exactly like DJ to pose for this image. Either that or DJ is one of four identical quadruplets. This scripting is nearly identical in style to his scripting for the last two major championships, which he arguably should have won. The scripting says no win for DJ this year.

Grade: B – Nice gray colors. Bonus points for finding four guys who look exactly like DJ to post for the picture.

2015-pga-championship-apparel-scripts-02

Pretty amazing apparel script above. Who would make an apparel script for the 278th ranked golfer in the world? Nike. As mentioned, this script only has two pairs of pants. The pant scripter once again is predicting a missed cut. There’s a lot of rough and about 40,003 bunkers at Whistling Straits. Not sure three balls and eight tees will be enough. Plus walking around this hilly course with no shoes, no socks, and no underwear can’t help Tiger Woods’s cause.

Grade: D- (no socks, no shoes, no underwear, no belt, shirts which only have a left arm)

2015-pga-championship-apparel-scripts-03 Poor Under Armour has gotten sucked into the apparel script game. They think they have to do it because everyone else does. For that their grade has been reduced from an A to a B. While this is as good a script as I’ve seen, Spieth will have to overcome playing with no underwear, no socks, and no shoes.

Grade: B (downgraded from an A because UA made a script).

2015-pga-championship-apparel-scripts-04

Poor Rickie Fowler. Assuming he makes the cut his ONE pair of pants is going to be awfully disgusting by the time Sunday afternoon rolls around, especially when he has no underwear either. Knowing that perhaps Puma should have picked a darker color, like brown. While Rickie’s script does have shoes, why three pairs? Is he going barefoot on Sunday? No socks either. Sunday’s round in gross pants, free-balling, and with no shoes? This should be interesting.

Grade: F (no 4th pair of shoes, one pair of pants, no socks, no underwear, one shirt with only a left arm, three shirts with no arms, one outerwear unit with one left arm).

Conclusion

Sure I didn’t cover every script out there. I simply don’t have the time because I’m working on my own PGA Championship apparel script and beer scripting. Stay tuned for those soon.

Has Tiger Woods Lost a Step? He Answered That Question Today

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, August 11th, 2015
Categories: Golf Media • Golf Videos • PGA Championship • PGA Tour • Pro Golf • Tiger Woods
Tags: Tiger Woods

In my Twitter feed there are a lot of video clips from the PGA Championship. One in particular caught my attention, because someone in the press had the golf balls to ask Tiger Woods if he has lost a step. The second the video started and I heard the voice of the person asking the question, I knew who it was… Jay Flemma.

Oof. That joke did not land, Tiger pic.twitter.com/WpVFmxa6p9

— Feitelberg (@FeitsBarstool) August 11, 2015

Tiger’s answer was intended to be a joke, followed up with a big Tiger smile. Nobody got it. #crickets #illbehereallweek #trytheveal

Putt Like Jordan Spieth?

Written by: Tony Korologos | Monday, August 10th, 2015
Categories: Golf • Golf For Women • Golf Instruction • Instruction • Jordan Spieth
Tags: Jordan Spieth • Putting

Jordan Spieth Masters 2015 During the last couple of practice sessions on the putting green I tried the technique Jordan Spieth sometimes uses on shorter putts. He will actually look at the hole and execute his putting stroke. He’s not looking at his golf ball or having his head/eyes down in the stroke. Conceptually it is not that odd. Think about foul-shooting in basketball. The shooter is looking at the basket, not the ball. Well maybe anyone but Shaquille O’Neal. No idea what he was ever looking at.

It was weird trying this technique. I made the first one. It felt strange and was very odd to see the hole, then have the ball appear in my field of vision, let alone being on the proper line and then going into the hole.

I’d say using this technique I was making a large percentage of the putts in short range. I was surprised to make as many as I did without even looking at the ball. I suppose that means my stroke is fairly pure and consistent, even when I’m not looking at the ball.

Will I put this in play? Nope. I make a lot of putts and I’m very confident in my putting. No need to mess with something that isn’t broken.

Someone should have told that to Tiger Woods.

On the Eve of the PGA Championship Golf.com Offers Up Keegan Bradley’s Busty Girlfriend

Written by: Tony Korologos | Friday, August 7th, 2015
Categories: Boneheads • Golf Babes • Golf Media • Miscellaneous
Tags: Boobs • Classless Journalism • Clickbait • Golf.com • Jillian Stacey • Keegan Bradley

The fourth major championship is upon us! It’s one of the greatest events in golf, the PGA Championship. Rory McIlory appears to be on the way, Jordan Spieth is vying for a 3rd major in a year, Tiger Woods “might” be on the comeback, Whistling Straits is a fantastic venue. So many great golf stories to choose from.

Good for golf? Probably not. Good for hits and clickbait? Absolutely

So what does Golf.com choose to offer its readers on the eve of this smorgasboard of great golf stories and angles? What brilliant journalistic excellence does this great golf media outlet grace its intelligent, discerning, classy readers with?

Boobs.