Every golf company’s new and bestest awesome driver ever in the universe will be longer than ever! BOOM! LONG! BIG! POW! LONG LONG LONG!
Every golf ball manufacturer’s ball is the longest ever and has more spin for control around the greens! More control and more distance, every year! How do they do it!?!?!?
Puma will have a DJ and the guys across at FootJoy will be deaf by the end of the show! Boom-tis boom-tis boom-tis… OOOHHHHH YEAH!
Some golf companies will attract visitors to their booths with hired local strippers! Yay for strippers! Booth babes! Problem is, the visitors will never remember the company or its offerings: “Hey Bob, remember the boobs on those two blonds at that one booth? I can’t remember the company, but I sure remember those boobs!”
Many first-time companies will display puzzling products, like golf club stands. Why they decided to blow their life savings on a booth at the show for a product which can’t even garner $5 on ebay is beyond me.
Companies and entrepreneurs who don’t have enough money for a booth will be soliciting people on the show floor, like flashers or counterfeit watch salesmen on the streets of NYC: “Hey buddy, wanna see something cool?”
Chinese companies will be going around the show covertly taking photos of the products they will counterfeit.
Foreigner will play the after show concert for the 208th year in a row.
Non industry professionals who borrowed passes from their golf industry friends will be scouring the show for all the free golf schwag they can carry in a bag they got at the first booth they visited. “Look at these free tees I got!!! Yippeeeee!!!”
As each show morning comes, every participant will have a bigger hangover and sorer feet.
People will stand in line for TWO hours to hit the latest TaylorMade driver.
Golf Channel TV personalities will cut in line at the hot dog stand in front of us low-lifes who are politely waiting in line. This happened to me more than once!
Educational conferences will cover “growing the game” and new “golf initiatives,” but they will be completely forgotten and ineffective. New drivers will still be $400. Golf will still be too expensive. Golf will still take too long. Handicaps will stay the same. The game will remain difficult…just like the last year and the year before… and so on, and so on.
Parking will suck. Ride the shuttles!
Show food will suck. Pack a lunch.
By the last day of the show, exhibitors will be nodding off to sleep in their booths which they paid $40,000 for. Then, after waking up, they will start packing up the booth many hours before the show ends.
Astonishingly, many expensive booths will be staffed by people who do not speak english. Countless communication problems will likely lead to lost sales.
For the first time in about a decade I have decided to skip attending the PGA Merchandise Show. Many of my golf associates seem a bit shocked about this and understandably. I’ve been a fixture there for a long time. I’m still getting calls and texts inviting me to booths, parties, lunch, and rounds of golf in Orlando! I will really miss seeing my friends and associates, and some of the golf media/bloggers. Some, not all! Most of all, I’ll miss walking by the women’s apparel booths which have female mannequins with erect nipples. OOOHHH…
I will miss my golf blog pals…
I was one of, if not THE first blogger to do live blogging and social networking from the PGA Show and probably the first to shoot POV video interviews. With so many other bloggers and social networkers at the show these days, I decided I’d stay home with the lovely wife and my one year old, save the money, and let them all cover it. As an independent blogger without a parent company paying the way, it is an expensive proposition to go to the show from Salt Lake. With recent changes in Google’s search results and ad structure, it could take months or even years for my ad revenue to cover the costs of going to the show like airfare, hotels, food, rental cars etc. It all comes out of my pocket. Honestly, I’d rather put that dough toward my next trip to Scotland.
I’m also thrilled to be avoiding whatever it is in the Orlando air or that awful swamp water there which throws my body into some kind of jacked up sickness. As soon as I roll into O-town my eyes become bloodshot and worst of all, I get mega-constipation. “Yes Tony, blog more about your bowels and their lack of functionality.” Hey, if you were at a trade show for a week and NEVER had a sit down on the porcelain throne, you’d feel my pain, literally. It hurts. I’m happily home, and having regular daily sit downs… ahhh.
I’ve been pondering all of the wonders I’ll miss at the PGA Show, the booth babes, the new longest drivers in the world, golf balls which are longer than ever. I decided to do a cynical post about the PGA Merchandise Show here.
The Hooked On Golf Blog World Tour stopped back one one of my favorite places this past weekend, Sand Hollow Resort in Hurricane, Utah. Sand Hollow Resort has three courses, a links course, par-3 course and their Championship Course. This facility is one of the best on the planet and the golf is out of this world due to the unique terrain.
While on the course for a couple of days I launched the HOG drone, a camera equipped mini helicopter I’ve built for shooting photos and videos of golf courses (and anything else I can fly over). Though it is winter and the course isn’t as green as it would be in the spring and summer, this video is still quite stunning. This is not bad for my first attempt at putting together video flyover highlights of a golf course.
How fun is this? I’m looking forward to my next trip down later in the season when the course is more green and I will have more time to work on the shots. This time around was quite educational and I will only get better.
If you’d like to hire me to shoot your golf course, event, or location with this setup feel free to contact me.
I did not sleep last night because I was so excited for this morning. I’m happy to report that I interviewed The Black Knight, Mr. Fitness, The International Ambassador of Golf, 9-time major champion Gary Player. What a thrill!
Mr. Player is on site this week in La Quinta, California at the PGA Tour’s Humana Challenge, the “Healthiest Event in America.” For years Player has been an advocate of fitness and now he’s joined forces with Humana to promote fitness and healthy eating even more.
Of course we discussed fitness in the interview, as that’s the focus of the event this week. I had so many other questions I would have liked to ask but those will have to wait for the next time. I’ll be getting the interview ready and posting it soon.
Thanks to Mr. Player for taking a break between his situp reps and crunches to speak with me.
Here in northern Utah we haven’t seen green grass since November of last year. That’s almost two months for those of you counting at home. This week the temperatures have creeped above freezing and we have even seen the sun!
Director of golf Guy Lester scooping that evil white stuff off the practice green!
My desperate and good friends at my home course River Oaks took it upon themselves to bust out the shovels and snow blower and clear the practice green so we can work on our putting! Brilliant old chaps. Let the stymies game begin and bring some cash.
HOGWire – Golf Industry News
