It is time for the 5th annual HOG Turkey Awards. This is a time when I reflect back on the golf year and make a short list of some of the biggest turkeys, or what I like to call “boneheads” in golf. First let’s take a look back at the last four year’s turkey award winners to get a flavor. The winners are listed below. Click on them to see the entire turkey list of that year.
And now, without further ado, the 2009 HOG Turkey Award winners are below, in no particular order except for the winner which is posted LAST. I went a little crazy this year. I posted a bunch of turkeys rather than just the top 10. I couldn’t resist.
Rule Twenty One golf pocket towels are shaped like neckties and hang from your pocket. Rather than giving this thing a poor review I decided to just not do one. Their press releases are so “over the top tree hugger green” it is nauseating (link to a .doc press release). They’re obviously trying to jump onto the “green” wave. According to their press releases, this golf towel increases the player’s concentration level, increases blood circulation, cures headaches, cures insomnia, restores agricultural lands, reduces rain runoff. All this from a golf towel? Wow. Not only that, this golf towel repairs the ozone hole, feeds hungry children, cures cancer, brings peace to the Middle East, solves the USA’s economic problems, cures AIDS, turns water into wine and does stuff that would make even Jesus himself say “how’d you do that?” Soon this golf towel will replace all the light bulbs in all the homes on the planet, saving the entire earth from running out of energy too. I heard Al Gore uses this golf towel, so they have that going for them. Somebody please stop me any time.
Related to the last post, we might as well mention TGC. TGC doesn’t stand for “The Golf Channel.” It stands for “Tiger is God Channel” or “Tiger Golf Channel.”
Awful golf announcing in general should have a Turkey Award. There’s a lot of it going around.
A few notable names who didn’t crack the top 125 on the PGA Tour: David Duval (sorry “Do Val,” 130), Chris DiMarco (135), Stuart Appleby (137), Brad Faxon (221), Jesper Parnevik (219), John Daly (215).
Speaking of John Daly… Can’t have a Turkey Award without mentioning big John. He gets an award for being suspended for most of the year.
Kenny Perry chomps on a turkey leg for not sealing the deal at the Masters. Then later he fires his caddy before the end of the season run. Happy Holidays.
Ernie Els gets a turkey for playing far below his potential.
Sergio Garcia for his whining about the Masters conditions after playing poorly. Yes the terrible conditions at Augusta National were to blame for his poor play. I hate playing that course. It is such a dog track that I never score well there.
Stupid drunk golf fans who yell “you’re the man” or “get in the hole” after every shot. SHUT THE HELL UP YOU MORONS!
Someone (the economy, management, banks) should get a turkey for Nickent going out of business.
Tom Watson for failing to make par on the 18th at the British Open and failing to seal one of the most incredible feats in sports history. Man I wanted to see that happen! Damn! Still amazing what he did though. I don’t want to take away from what he accomplished by any means.
Annika Sorenstam for marrying someone other than me and having his child. 🙁
Nike ad tout’s themselves as #1 driver yet their promo pictures shot Tiger Woods with a Titleist putter in his hands.
On February 18th Steve Williams says Tiger Woods’ return is a “few weeks away.” Tiger returns seven days after that.
I score a nine on the 17th at TPC Sawgrass, becoming the first person to put the 2009 model ProV1 in the water there…. twice.
Whoever passed gas on the 18th hole at the Buick, whether it was Tiger, Stevie or David Feherty. Oh and how about YouTube for taking my video of that event down after only one hour of being up. In that hour that video was viewed 20,000 times.
Runner up for the 2009 Turkey Awards is the PGA Tour for banning a complete no-name, unknown player for using performance enhancing drugs. Way to step out on a limb and make a stand! Bravo!
And the #1 Turkey Award Winner for 2009… drum roll please…..
I’m a big Tiger fan so don’t get me wrong. But Tiger displayed very poor sportsmanship throughout the year with his temper tantrums, club throwing on numerous occasions, cussing and bag kicking. His behavior at the British was very disappointing. Many videos surfaced over the season of Tiger throwing clubs. I wish Bobby Jones could have a talk with Tiger about club throwing. He threw a club once and never did it again.
Yesterday I had a chance to chat with golf great Dave Stockton for a while. Stockton racked up 10 PGA Tour wins, including TWO PGA Championships and two 2nd place finishes at the Masters. I’d met Dave in 1997 when the then “Senior Tour” was in town. I followed him around, watched him shoot a 63 on a tough Jack Nicklaus course and win the tournament. Aside from Ben Crenshaw, Dave Stockton is known as one of the best putters of all time. My putting stroke is a close model to Dave’s, and most of my opponents would prefer I do something else.
The discussion, paraphrased:
Me: Hey Dave how are you? We met up in Park City when the Senior Tour played up there years ago.
Stockton: Yes. I wish we still played up there. I really enjoyed it. I used to love to play up there and then go fishing up in that area.
Me: I wish you still played up there too. We don’t get much high level professional golf here in Utah. I hear you are injured.
Stockton: Yes. I tore my rotator cuff. I had rotator cuff surgery a couple of weeks ago.
Me: Ouch. That must have hurt. How long will you be out for?
Stockton: I’m surprised to say I’m not feeling any pain right now. I should be back in about five weeks.
Me: I want to tell you how much I enjoy your putting style. I’ve modeled a lot of my putting after you.
Stockton: Thanks! More and more people are modeling their style after mine these days.
Me: So you’re here at this golf tournament (Champions Challenge at Thanksgiving Point, Utah) but you obviously aren’t playing. Why are you here?
Stockton: I’m following my sons around. They’re playing in the tournament.
Me: Ah! Well I wish your boys luck.
Stockton: Thanks. Nice talking to you.
Dave Stockton – Putt To Win
Speaking of Dave Stockton’s putting, he has a book called “Putt To Win.” Click here or on the image in this piece to pick up a copy.
Turning Stone Resort Championship
Thursday 10/1 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM ET GOLF
Friday 10/2 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM ET GOLF
Saturday 10/3 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM ET GOLF
Sunday 10/4 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM ET GOLF
Alfred Dunhill Links Championship
Thursday 10/1 8:30 AM – 12:30 PM ET GOLF
Friday 10/2 8:30 AM – 12:30 PM ET GOLF
Saturday 10/3 8:30 AM – 12:30 PM ET GOLF
Sunday 10/4 7:30 AM – 12:30 PM ET GOLF
Navistar LPGA Classic
Thursday 10/1 8:30 PM – 10:30 PM ET GOLF
Friday 10/2 8:30 PM – 10:30 PM ET GOLF
Saturday 10/3 8:30 PM – 10:30 PM ET GOLF
Sunday 10/4 8:30 PM – 10:30 PM ET GOLF
Constellation Energy Senior Players Championship
Thursday 10/1 1:30 PM – 3:30 PM ET GOLF
Friday 10/2 1:30 PM – 3:30 PM ET GOLF
Saturday 10/3 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM ET NBC
Sunday 10/4 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM ET NBC
Thursday 10/1 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM ET GOLF
Friday 10/2 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM ET GOLF
Saturday 10/3 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM ET GOLF
Sunday 10/4 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM ET GOLF
Sad story from Orlando. Champions Tour player Jim Thorpe (with the crazy swing) pleaded guilty on tax evasion charges. He didn’t pay over $2 million in taxes from income between 2002-2004. He could face up to two years in prison and a $4.1 million fine.