Lately it seems like I find a new phone book on my doorstep every other week. Last week another one arrived. After opening the packaging though, I realized this wasn’t a phone book. It was the Gigantic Book of Golf Quotations.
Here on Hooked On Golf Blog I have a little module which outputs random golf quotes every time the page is accessed. There are a few text files floating around the web with golf quotes which I put in this module, plus I’ve added a bunch of newer ones as I’ve heard them live during golf coverage. The Gigantic Golf Book of Quotations is the mother load of these golf quotes.
The Gigantic Book of Golf Quotations is an 800 page book of golf quotes, jokes and sayings brought together by author Jim Apfelbaum. Arnold Palmer wrote the foreward. This isn’t exactly the kind of book you sit down and read from cover to cover. It’s more of a coffee table book, or one you break out once in a while for some fun golf reading.
When I first heard the announcement that ESPN was going to be covering The Masters I posted a comment saying it was a good thing. My thought was, given ESPN’s HD capability we’d be seeing Augusta National on TV better then ever before.
On second thought…
But after some golf chat in the van on my Black Mesa trip with a bunch of golf writers, I’m changing my tune. It hadn’t even crossed my mind what would happen if The Masters broadcast was “ESPNized.”
Could you imagine having to listen to the horrific golf announcing by Chris Berman during the freaking Masters? I’d be turning off the audio for long before he could spout out his 194 millionth, not-so-funny-anymore sports names. I can hear it now…
Chris Berman: “Woop, woop. Mickelson just drained a putt. He’s one below par. Now let’s go to Roger Chocolate Malt-be.”
Stuart Scott: “Straight butta! Goosen is as cool as the other side of the pillow.”
Chris Berman: “Watch Tiger’s ball go rumblin’ bumblin’ stumblin’ deeep into the bottom of the cup.”
Stuart Scott: “Boo-yah! Tiger must be the bus driver cause he was takin’ Phil to school.”
Then Vijay Singh backs a wedge up…
Stuart Scott: “Yup yup. Call me big daddy when you back that thing up. Bubba Watson just hit a 342 yard drive. Wow! That as hardcore as the Wu-Tang Clan on steroids!”
OMG (a web geek abbreviation for “oh my God”)…. To quote the great Ian Mac Allister when he discovered he was shooting the course record with a wretched NXT, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
The “ESPNification” of The Masters would be a tragedy and I believe the stuffy old powers that be at Augusta National will not allow the tainting of their tournament.
Note: All Scott and Berman quotes used here are REAL. Yes, even the stupid “one below par” quote… OMG. GAG ME.
YouTube is great. They provide me a free repository for my video clips. I save server space and tons of bandwidth by allowing them to put their little YouTube logo on my videos.
100+ vidoes, 200,000+ views
My YouTube location is at https://www.youtube.com/thegolfspace where I now have over 100 golf videos and they’ve been viewed over 200,000 times!
My pal Jay is doing a play by play of the Black Mesa golf writer trip. Each member is a cast member from Gilligan’s Island. I’m Gilligan.
Jay has a true gift for gab, in person and on his blog. Check out his play by play.
I’ve started a review of the course, which I’d normally be able to bust out in one or two days. But I can’t seem to find the right words to describe just how cool the place was…
I’m finding that since I got back from the Black Mesa trip I haven’t blogged much. I’m sort of at a loss for words. I went three days without a post. I think it’s that downer people get after they’ve been really high. Drug users get this too, but I wouldn’t know. Yup, three days. That’s like ESPN’s Chris Berman going one sentence without inserting one of his not-so-funny-anymore athlete names like “Roger Chocolate Maltby”…
I’m beginning to think the writers at Golf Magazine are using my travel itineraries as guides for their upcoming articles. About a week before my trip to Monterey last month, Golf Magazine ran an article on the golf courses and things to do in the Monterey area.
This month, a week before I head to Santa Fe, New Mexico, I find a HUGE layout and article on Black Mesa. I’m flying to Black Mesa tomorrow to review the course for a few days and hook up with my blog pal Jay Flemma and Black Mesa owner Eddie Peck.
Yup, Golf Magazine is scooping my future golf course review junkets. I just hope next month’s issue covers Augusta National…