Boneheads


Boobs, Butts, and Bogeys – Back9Network is Back

Written by: Tony Korologos | Monday, December 28th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf Media
Tags:
With quality content like this it is hard to believe this "network" didn't survive...

Quality and class..

T&A alert! T&A alert! For you flyby web browsers who follow golf but love tits and ass even more, here’s some great news for you. Trash9Network is returning! Yes, the golf web’s version of the Bunny Ranch is going to be delivering Instagram photo galleries of the web’s hottest golf whores, for your enjoyment.

What? I’m being too crude? Perhaps I’ll use the en vogue term for publishing Instagram galleries of whores with golf clubs in their hands… “Golf Lifestyle.” There. Feel better?

Back9Network executives acknowledged in the filing in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Hartford their failure to launch a profitable television network. They’re now forming a “compelling online platform” of websites, a golf app and an email newsletter with 1.7 million subscribers, they said. Since its founding in 2010, it raised $32 million from more than 200 investors and about $6.2 million of unsecured debt from investors, Back9Network said. ~via the Hartford Courant

Huh? A “compelling online platform?” What does it compel one of their flyby, Instagram whore gallery next-button-clicking web visitors to do? Jerk off?

$32 million and they don't even know how to spell "caddie." Facepalm...

$32 million and they don’t even know how to spell “caddie.” Facepalm…

I really have to wonder what ANY of the investors, including the state of Connecticut, must have thought when seeing the content this “network” put together with their $32 million in investments. It must have been horrifying for the investors.

back9network_trash

Is this Penthouse or a golf website? Oh sorry, “golf lifestyle”

back9network_dufner

Amanda Dufner in a g-string. Doesn’t sell golf clubs or grow the game, but it generates clicks.

What’s more unbelievable is that more investors are putting money into this ship, which I thought sunk but somehow has temporarily floated back to the surface. Don’t they know Amanda Dufner, the old site’s primary draw, is gone? Talk about throwing good money after bad.

The fun part is we get to watch the dumpster fire reignited, at least until this last “private investment” runs out.

Anyone want to lend me $32 million?  I could do a hell of a job re-posting Instagram photos of hot chicks.  Hell, I’d do it for $32.00.


Thinking of Tattooing a Right-Handed Coal Miner Bubba Watson on My Calf

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015
Categories: Boneheads
Tags:

I’m not big on tattoos. If I ever get one I was considering getting a washed out boat anchor on my forearm. That way when I’m 80 years old it will still look the same.

I must admit I’ve recently been fantasizing about getting a tattoo of Bubba Watson on my calf, but not any old Bubba Watson though. It would be “right-handed coal miner” Bubba Watson. The “tat” (that’s what cool people call them) would feature Bubba wearing a PING hat. Of course we would have to hope he doesn’t change sponsors. Bubba’s face would be covered in coal marks and he would be wielding a right-handed driver.

Right Handed Coal Miner Bubba!

Right Handed Coal Miner Bubba!

Dammit I just found out someone already has the right handed coal miner Bubba Watson on their calf! See photo. What a bugger. Now I have to think of something else.


Sorry, Not Interested in Paige Spiranac

Written by: Tony Korologos | Thursday, December 17th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf BabesGolf Media
Tags:

This is hillarious. I was just writing a post to say how I have no interest in so called “Instagram Star” Paige Spiranac. So I dug out the photo below to help with my comments.
GolfDigest_MySpace

It was at that point that I realized Paige Spiranac is not in the photo.  I’ve seen so many of these from Golf Digest I’m getting them all mixed up now. Above is some other hot female that Golf Digest and numerous other golf “magazines” are going to exploit for cheap web traffic, shoving her in my face on social networks, until the cows come home.

Paige Spiranac

Anyway back on Paige… I simply can’t wait for more “photo galleries” from Instagram, you know, disguised as golf journalism.  Please do the “up-skirt” ones, those are my favorite.  “I can see her vag… Oh DAMMIT she’s wearing a skort!!”

LOL.

Congrats. You’ve just scored a ZERO on my Golf-Give-a-Shit-O-Meter.

UPDATE: The last sentence has spawned a new feature which will be officially implemented in 2016, the Hooked On Golf Blog Give-a-Shit-O-Meter:

GS1

 


Golf Stock Photo Fail – Golf Equipment

Written by: Tony Korologos | Thursday, December 17th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf

This is the “equipment” segment of my ground breaking golf journalistic series, “Golf Stock Photo Fail.”

NO, you idiot!

Yes of course I tap in putts with a left-handed 3-wood from 1995. Doesn't everyone?

Yes of course I tap in putts with a left-handed 3-wood from 1995. Doesn’t everyone?

“Bob what a great driver! What kind is it?”
“I don’t know Fred. It came with all the branding photoshopped out!”

Right. A right-handed blade teed up very high, with a left-handed glove. Awesome.

I see nothing odd about this photo at all. Don’t most golfers wear hiking boots and rain pants while teeing up an old yellow range ball 4-inches above the ground with a 9-iron in hand?

PULL THE PIN!!! Penalty for leaving pin in if ball hits it! By the way, great ballet shoes!

Worst greens in town! They’re so bad the dude has to hit a 3-wood (from 1995), from two inches!

“The greens were so bad I had to chip with a pitching wedge from two inches!”

I always practice my chipping using only my 3-wood, while wearing a suit, in a Windows XP screensaver background.


Golf Stock Photo Fail – The Golf Bag – How Not to Wear it and What Not to Put in It

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, December 15th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf

This post is a continuation of the hard hitting golf journalistic series “Golf Stock Photo Fail.” Subtitle: “The Golf Bag.” Be sure to check out part one, Golf Stock Photo Fail – Golf Technique, part two: Golf Stock Photo Fail – The Joy of Leaving Putts Short, and part three Golf Stock Photo Fail – Hump Your Golf Partner.

Apparently the golf bag is a very foreign thing for photographers, advertisers, and people who don’t golf. It can be very complicated, you know, slinging a bag over one’s shoulder. The complexity of the golf bag worsens when one tries to put clubs in it. How many? Two, none, seven? Which ones?

How two morons carry golf bags. As a bonus, neither bag has no more than 4-5 clubs.

Too dumb to figure out the shoulder strap… Awesome. At least he only has 5 clubs! Seriously. Between the two golfers posing for the image and the photographer(s) nobody could figure this out?

“I don’t need to stinking 14 clubs! Wait this bag has a shoulder strap? I thought golf bags were to be carried under the armpit.” –The more I look at this, the more it looks like the bag and the dude were photoshopped together.

Why is this lady carrying an empty golf bag? And why has the photographer rotated the horizon of this shot 36.2 degrees counter-clockwise? And what about the poor, frightened children who obviously have to pee?

“I’m a badass mother f**ker. I only need 7 clubs but I do need a golf cart to carry my bag with 7 clubs. And just because, I put the bag on the passenger’s side of the cart. Don’t mess with me.”

“I can’t believe this bitch is making me carry a tour bag with only 5 clubs.”


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