Golf media has really gone downhill. The major publications like Golf Digest and Golf Magazine have resorted to posting slutty pictures of the “hottest women in golf” and all sorts of lowest common denominator trash, just to generate viewers. Its not about golf, its about tits and ass, and getting the easy hits. Yes, the fix-your-slice articles and top-100 lists have taken a back seat to boobs.
FORE! Can I play through?
Golf marketing is not much better. Golf marketing companies, golf organizations, and major manufacturers come up with all sorts of stupid slogans and ways of bastardizing the game under the guise of “growing golf.” Their motivation is making money. They don’t care about ruining the game. They care about the bottom line, selling more drivers or keeping their organization afloat.
The last year or so has seen some really dumb slogans, ideas, and ways of bastardizing the game in the name of growing it, like Hack Golf, Foot Golf, Golf 2.0, Get Golf Ready. None of these things really work, they’re just this year’s buzz phrases, soon to be forgotten when the next buzz-phrase is coined at the next PGA Merchandise Show.
Boy I sure love golf. Don’t you?
Where am I going with this? The PGA Show is coming up and it is a new year. Soon we will be hearing the next buzz words and phrases. Here are a few of the worst golf marketing phrases and slogans for 2015, keeping boobs, ass, and dumb ways of “growing the game” in mind.
Like the play on words? Fore-play. Such genius! We have golf. We have sex. Both tied into a nice little pun. Perfect for the golf magazines, also known as tittie mags.
Get Boob Ready
With the massive amount of boobs posted by Golf Magazine, Golf Digest, and Trash9Network (also known as Back9Network), plus the “Get Golf Ready” initiative last year (or was it the year before?), how great is this?
Is this photo about golf or Paulina Gretzky’s boobs? You be the judge. GET BOOB READY!
Get Boob Ready! Pure class.
Foot Golf is a dumb game where soccer players piss off golfers, kicking a soccer ball into a giant hole on the course and tearing up the greens with their spiked shoes. Forget Foot Golf. Boobs are so much more fun. This year’s initiative should be “Boob Golf.” Big breasted WAGS (“WAGS” is a term used by the golf magazines meaning “wives and girlfriends”) use their boobs to knock balls into holes. Boob Golf is a hole in one!
Foot Hack Grow Boobs 3.0
A combination of boobs, Foot Golf, and Golf 2.0 for 2015 is “Foot Hack Grow Boobs 3.0.” This is pure golf genius. The golf industry is saved!
The popularity of “hot wives and girlfriends” of millionaire PGA Tour players seems to be singlehandedly keeping golf magazines and websites afloat. The hot wives and girlfriends are so popular, I think their male spouses should be benched and we should see them play Boob Golf, or Foreplay, or Foot Hack Gro Boobs, all of course in G-Strings, bikinis, and yoga pants. We could call it WAGOLF. Brilliant eh?
Time Fore 69
Golf Digest (or someone else, can’t really remember) came out with the “Time for Nine” buzz-phrase. Let’s sex that up a bit, add some hot tour wives and girlfriends, and call it “Time Fore 69.” Get it? In stead of “for” the word is “fore.” Simply brilliant!
We Are Boobs
The “WE ARE GOLF” slogan was announced as an industry initiative for “changing perceptions” and “overcoming biases.”
What perceptions or biases are they talking about? Who cares. The We Are Boobs industry initiative is much better. After all, it’s not about golf, it’s about the boobs of hot tour wives, girlfriends, and any slut we can find and take a picture of with a driver in her hands!
The two most important subjects in golf media for 2014 were boobs and growing golf.
Why not combine the two? Grow Boobs! Splendid.
This list explores just a fraction of the possible slogans for the golf world and golf media in 2015. Have your own ideas? Comment them in via the comments below or on any of the Hooked On Golf Blog social networks. Get creative! You might save golf.
Golf Magazine is changing its name to BOOB Magazine.
We’ve seen this change coming. We’ve seen the transformation happening right before our eyes as Golf Magazine has been posting gallery after gallery of Instagram feeds and photos of hot women in golf. “Hot tour wives and girlfriends” articles… “hottest women in golf” articles…. They don’t even have to be golfers, as long as they’re holding a golf club, or simply have big boobs and live in the same city as a golf course.
Hooked On Golf Blog inside sources, under condition of anonymity, have sent in the new cover for BOOB Magazine, which will hit the shelves in time for the 2015 Masters this April, even featuring a hot G-string spread with Martha Burk.
New BOOB Magazine April 2015 Cover
Honestly it is about time Golf Magazine came clean with their “golf journalism” turned Red Light District. I’m happy to see the rebranding/renaming, and look forward to honest tits and ass journalisn, not under the auspices of “golf” but for what it really is, posting BOOOBS for hits.
Well played Boobs Magazine. Well played.
Pass the milk…
This past weekend at the Franklin Templeton Shootout was the debut of Fox Sports’ golf coverage, featuring Joe Buck and Greg Norman on the call. Golf websites are buzzing with opinions. The Greg Norman and Joe Buck lovers have great comments, and predictably the haters have criticisms. Some sites have penned several thousand word essays on the coverage, down to nitpicking every sentence and every transition from one camera angle to the next. Seems like a case of analysis paralysis to me.
I have not watched any golf on TV since the Ryder Cup. I’d much rather play golf than watch it. I don’t imagine I’ll watch any professional golf on TV until the 2015 Masters Tournament, so my take on Fox and their golf coverage can be summed up in one sentence:
“Too apathetic to care.”
What’s your take on the job Joe Buck, Greg Norman and crew did this past weekend?
One of the many HOG World Tour stops, Black Mesa Golf Club in New Mexico
As of today Hooked On Golf Blog is 10 years old. TEN YEARS. Back on December 5th, 2004 I posted my first golf blog, “You can only understand if you golf.” It was certainly not award winning material. I’d give it a D+ today, but I’m sure Tiger Woods didn’t hit his best shots when he first picked up a club.
I started blogging at the suggestion of my best friend Alan Nelson. Back in 2004 he told me blogging would be big, the next big craze on the internet. Alan is a wise man and when he has a suggestion I take it to heart. This was before Facebook or Twitter. When I asked what I should blog about, he said “something you love.” I had to choose between rock & roll, strippers, pizza, and golf. I chose golf, though I think if I chose strippers I’d probably be a millionaire by now. Thanks to Alan’s suggestion, HOG exists.
The 10 years I’ve been running this blog have been amazing. I’ve worked hard to build up about 5000 golf articles, over 20,000 golf photos, hundreds of videos, several other golf sites and associated social networks. I’ve played some of the world’s most amazing golf courses, many which had not even opened to the public yet. I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing much of the world’s best golf equipment, golf apparel, and golf accessories.
At about 2-3 million hits per month by anywhere from 5,000 to 15,000 unique visitors per day, it’s hard to count how many millions of hits and visitors the site has seen in the past decade. Rough guess I’d say the site has seen 100 million hits, and probably 15-20 million unique visitors.
The HOG Photo Gallery is now at 20,381. The HOG Twitter @HOGGOLFBLOG has 2,798 followers while my personal twitter @TheGolfSpace has 4,003 followers. The HOG Facebook is at 1,587 followers. My Google+ page has 415 followers and 742,996 views. On Google+ the HOG page is at 311 followers and 74,152 views. The HOG YouTube features 438 videos, 631 subscribers, and has 5,333,049 views.
In short, I have a reach to a large audience.
You can tell Miss Universe digs me. Just look in her eyes.
Because of this golf blog I’ve met some of the coolest people on the planet. A few notables include Jack Nicklaus, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Robert Duval (yes the Academy Award winning actor) and Miss Universe, Stefania Fernandez. Miss Universe is a lot better looking than Chi Chi, though not as entertaining. I’ve met many stars in golf and business, but the real people in the industry are the ones who have had the biggest impact on me. I’m talking about the people who run other golf sites, work at golf courses, design golf courses, work for golf manufacturers, work in PR firms, and even caddie. These people are the heart and soul of this industry and the game. I’m thrilled to have established so many relationships and friendships. I plan to mention many of you in my people post.
I had intended to recap the last 10 years in this 10 year anniversary post, but I’ve spent a good hour on just calendar year 2005. So I’m going to break it up a bit and post some look-back posts for the last 10 years.
Next up, the birth and first years of HOG. Look for the next post.
ARGH! How many times can golf publications put out the same drivel on their websites or social networks? I swear there’s nearly no original thinking anymore in golf media. They just regurgitate the same questions again and again. When it is a slow news day or the scribes obviously can’t pry anything interesting out of their new-idea-challenged craniums, and when they’ve run out of “hot tour wives and girlfriends” photos, they always seem to turn to these good old overused standards. These are always great standbys for golf forum topics too… Here are the top 10 below, but I’m sure there are more:
10. Who is in your dream foursome?
9. Who would win between Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods if they both played against each other in their prime?
8. Should PGA Tour pros be allowed to wear shorts?
7. Should THE PLAYERS* Championship be considered the 5th major championship?
6. What is the (best, toughest, craziest, most beautiful) (par-3, par-4, par-5) in golf? For example: “What is the toughest par-3 in golf?”
5. The “where are you playing?” discussion: Where did you play this weekend? Where are you going to play this weekend? What did you shoot this weekend?
4. The “go-to” discussion: What is your go-to (shot, club)?
3. The “if you could” golf course discussion: If you could play one course the rest of your life, what would it be? If you could play any course in the world, what would it be?
2. The “play like golf pro X” question/discussion: How can you (putt, chip, drive, hit long irons, hit sand shots, score, recover, make birdies) like (insert tour player name here)? Example: How can you drive like Gary Woodland?
1. Will Tiger Woods break Jack Nicklaus’s major championship record of 18 wins?
* Always write “THE PLAYERS” in ALL CAPS, that’s what they do.