Boneheads


Thinking of Tattooing a Right-Handed Coal Miner Bubba Watson on My Calf

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015
Categories: Boneheads
Tags:

I’m not big on tattoos. If I ever get one I was considering getting a washed out boat anchor on my forearm. That way when I’m 80 years old it will still look the same.

I must admit I’ve recently been fantasizing about getting a tattoo of Bubba Watson on my calf, but not any old Bubba Watson though. It would be “right-handed coal miner” Bubba Watson. The “tat” (that’s what cool people call them) would feature Bubba wearing a PING hat. Of course we would have to hope he doesn’t change sponsors. Bubba’s face would be covered in coal marks and he would be wielding a right-handed driver.

Right Handed Coal Miner Bubba!

Right Handed Coal Miner Bubba!

Dammit I just found out someone already has the right handed coal miner Bubba Watson on their calf! See photo. What a bugger. Now I have to think of something else.


Sorry, Not Interested in Paige Spiranac

Written by: Tony Korologos | Thursday, December 17th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf BabesGolf Media
Tags:

This is hillarious. I was just writing a post to say how I have no interest in so called “Instagram Star” Paige Spiranac. So I dug out the photo below to help with my comments.
GolfDigest_MySpace

It was at that point that I realized Paige Spiranac is not in the photo.  I’ve seen so many of these from Golf Digest I’m getting them all mixed up now. Above is some other hot female that Golf Digest and numerous other golf “magazines” are going to exploit for cheap web traffic, shoving her in my face on social networks, until the cows come home.

Paige Spiranac

Anyway back on Paige… I simply can’t wait for more “photo galleries” from Instagram, you know, disguised as golf journalism.  Please do the “up-skirt” ones, those are my favorite.  “I can see her vag… Oh DAMMIT she’s wearing a skort!!”

LOL.

Congrats. You’ve just scored a ZERO on my Golf-Give-a-Shit-O-Meter.

UPDATE: The last sentence has spawned a new feature which will be officially implemented in 2016, the Hooked On Golf Blog Give-a-Shit-O-Meter:

GS1

 


Golf Stock Photo Fail – Golf Equipment

Written by: Tony Korologos | Thursday, December 17th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf

This is the “equipment” segment of my ground breaking golf journalistic series, “Golf Stock Photo Fail.”

NO, you idiot!

Yes of course I tap in putts with a left-handed 3-wood from 1995. Doesn't everyone?

Yes of course I tap in putts with a left-handed 3-wood from 1995. Doesn’t everyone?

“Bob what a great driver! What kind is it?”
“I don’t know Fred. It came with all the branding photoshopped out!”

Right. A right-handed blade teed up very high, with a left-handed glove. Awesome.

I see nothing odd about this photo at all. Don’t most golfers wear hiking boots and rain pants while teeing up an old yellow range ball 4-inches above the ground with a 9-iron in hand?

PULL THE PIN!!! Penalty for leaving pin in if ball hits it! By the way, great ballet shoes!

Worst greens in town! They’re so bad the dude has to hit a 3-wood (from 1995), from two inches!

“The greens were so bad I had to chip with a pitching wedge from two inches!”

I always practice my chipping using only my 3-wood, while wearing a suit, in a Windows XP screensaver background.


Golf Stock Photo Fail – The Golf Bag – How Not to Wear it and What Not to Put in It

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, December 15th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolf

This post is a continuation of the hard hitting golf journalistic series “Golf Stock Photo Fail.” Subtitle: “The Golf Bag.” Be sure to check out part one, Golf Stock Photo Fail – Golf Technique, part two: Golf Stock Photo Fail – The Joy of Leaving Putts Short, and part three Golf Stock Photo Fail – Hump Your Golf Partner.

Apparently the golf bag is a very foreign thing for photographers, advertisers, and people who don’t golf. It can be very complicated, you know, slinging a bag over one’s shoulder. The complexity of the golf bag worsens when one tries to put clubs in it. How many? Two, none, seven? Which ones?

How two morons carry golf bags. As a bonus, neither bag has no more than 4-5 clubs.

Too dumb to figure out the shoulder strap… Awesome. At least he only has 5 clubs! Seriously. Between the two golfers posing for the image and the photographer(s) nobody could figure this out?

“I don’t need to stinking 14 clubs! Wait this bag has a shoulder strap? I thought golf bags were to be carried under the armpit.” –The more I look at this, the more it looks like the bag and the dude were photoshopped together.

Why is this lady carrying an empty golf bag? And why has the photographer rotated the horizon of this shot 36.2 degrees counter-clockwise? And what about the poor, frightened children who obviously have to pee?

“I’m a badass mother f**ker. I only need 7 clubs but I do need a golf cart to carry my bag with 7 clubs. And just because, I put the bag on the passenger’s side of the cart. Don’t mess with me.”

“I can’t believe this bitch is making me carry a tour bag with only 5 clubs.”


Golf Stock Photo Fail – Hump Your Golf Partner

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, December 15th, 2015
Categories: BoneheadsGolfGolf For Women

This is part three of the web’s best golf series on awful golf stock photos, “Golf Stock Photo Fail.” Part One is about golf technique and Part two is about the Joy of Leaving Putts Short.

This entry is called “Hump Your Golf Partner.” In today’s series, we learn a little too much about Viagra or Cialis, and how awful golf photographers have done a fantastic job capturing the moment.  I can’t think of any more awkward golf photos than ones like these below… FORE!

Did you know that women’s putting stats from 2.5 feet are greatly improved when they’re being dry-humped?

Bob! This shaft is stiff!

Bob! This shaft is stiff!

The nerve, crotch grabbing and humping in front of children, and 4-seater golf carts.

Oh goodness yes! A little to the left. By the way, who are you?

The look on her face is great… “Hey wait a second. I feel that. Down boy.”

Putting never felt so good, even for hispanic couples…

Awkward…

Well Richard, you’ve apparently refilled your Cialis prescription!

She likes it…

Uh, don’t let the mormon church see this one…


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