The cut has come at the 2016 Masters Tournament. Below are the apparel scripts which didn’t make the cut. Sadly these apparel choices cost their players a chance at the ultimate piece of apparel, the green jacket. All the man-hours golf PR put into contriving these apparel scripts, designing them graphically, and pumping them out to all the blogs and golf sites who eat up this spoon-fed content they don’t have to write themselves, is sadly wasted.
This is a tribute to those fine apparel scripts who won’t see the light of day this weekend at the Masters. We don’t want them to be forgotten. We love them.
No flat bills on the weekend. The traffic cone will be missed.
The Schwartzel was not with Charl this week…
Who? I don’t know either… But he has a scripter
I can’t remember who this script belongs to… Don’t care enough to look it up.
This is a complex situation, because some of the shoes were meant for the weekend which were used Thursday and Friday
Where do apparel scripts go after they die? Do they get recycled into the next “scriptable” event? Are they donated to charity (hope so). Are they destroyed, never to be used again?
I feel bad for these poor lost scripts. They’re like lost drunken souls who no longer know who they are and no longer care. Offer them a drink.
Congratulations are in order to “Your Golf Travel” for winning the first annual “Make Augusta National Golf Club Look Bad” contest! Check out this beauty of a photo:
Let’s analyze the genius of this photo. How many different ways could they make the world’s most beautiful golf course look so terrible?
- Photograph at a 29.7 degree tilt to the left, to make the view nauseated and dizzy
- Make greens look dried and burned out
- Make fairway look dried and burned out
- Overexpose photo so skies look like a nuclear white-out
- Position photo so 50% of the content is the overexposed nuclear white-out
- Shoot photo at such a low resolution that the trees in the background completely pixelate into digital gibberish
There you have it. Congratulations to Your Golf Travel! Email me to collect your prize, a free PDF on the basics of digital photography.
While flying to and from Singapore this week (see this post as to why), I wanted to write some comments about the Masters Tournament and the course, Augusta National Golf Club. I wanted to make it fun and challenging, so I decided to try and describe the course hole by hole, but with only one sentence per hole. Having walked the course many times these are my single sentence takes on each hole below:
Hole #1 – Par-4 445 Yards
The first green is an upside down soup bowl which would give fits to any player with a weak short game.
Caddies in a low spot in front of the 10th green – Photo by Tony Korologos ©
Hole #2 – Par-5 575 Yards
The green looks like a sliver from the fairway.
Hole #3 – Par-4 350 Yards
Though this hole could be drivable from the tee, a full swing from 100+ yards could be easier than a long pitch or chip.
Hole #4 – Par-3 240 Yards
From the Masters tees this long downhill par-3 is frightening.
Hole #5 – Par-4 455 Yards
The 5th green reminds me of the 2nd green at the old course, which may have a Volkswagen Beetle buried under it.
Hole #6 – Par-3 180 Yards
Huge elevation drop results in massive air time on this par-3.
Hole #7 – Par-4 450 Yards
Craziest green complex on the whole course on a steep slope with lots of bunkers.
Hole #8 – Par-5 570 Yards
This reverse-S shaped hole is like two separate worlds between tee and approach.
Hole #9 – Par-4 460 Yards
If you like hitting shots onto a table which is tilted 45 degrees from back to front you will love #9.
Hole #10 – Par-4 495 Yards
TV can’t translate how big this hole is or how dramatic the elevation drop from tee to green is.
Hole #11 – Par-4 505 Yards
The tee shot and approach are the two most challenging consecutive shots at Augusta
National.
Hole #12 – Par-3 155 Yards
Simply the most beautiful par-3 in golf, both aesthetically and architecturally.
Hole #13 – Par-5 510 Yards
The most famous risk/reward hole on the course, until you get to the 15th.
Hole #14 – Par-4 440 Yards
If a hole at Augusta National could be called boring, this would be it.
Hole #15 – Par-5 530 Yards
Anything other than a perfect approach yardage and execution is penalized harshly.
Hole #16 – Par-3 170 Yards
The amphitheater surrounding the 16th (also 17 tee, 6th green, 15th green) is, to coin the phrase, like no other.
Hole #17 – Par-4 440 Yards
The green is very exposed and has many places a player should avoid hitting to, which will result in the ball rolling away.
Hole #18 – Par-4 465 Yards
Every aspect of one’s game, from driving to approach to short game, is fully tested on the finishing hole.
This time of year is great, except for all the articles written by media who know nothing about golf and cover it maybe a max of four times per year. I’ve heard people call major tournaments “Masters,” as in “there are four Masters each year…” Then there are the boneheaded “The Masters have begun” statements, like below.
The Masters is a golf tournament. It is singular. The Masters Tournament is one of four “Major Championships” per year in golf. One should say, “the Masters has begun.”
I’ve worked hard on this one, my 2016 Masters Tournament cigar scripting. It’s a script like no other, for the ages, and it’s its time.
Yes Sir!
To see the actual reviews of these cigars visit the links below:
Romeo Y Julieta House of Capulet Toro
Kristoff LIgero Maduro Matador Toro
La Gloria Cubana Serie RF
Ave Maria Crusader
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