I shot the two photos within five minutes of each other while stuck in traffic. Photo one the guy not only has a golf hole airbrushed on to the back of his truck, his licence plate cover says “no putts.” Photo two is obviously a “HOG” (Hooked On Golf Blog) fanatic.
Yes today is my birthday. Every year now I lose some distance off the tee, I get a few more gray hairs, my eyebrows get bushier (thanks pop), and I lose a few billion more brain cells.
Below is my list of eligible gifts I’d be willing to accept. This is the SAME list I posted on my birthday last year, and the year before and so on… For some reason none of these modest, easy to obtain and inexpensive items ever arrived last year.
1. 2009 Masters tickets. Isn’t there someone out there with an extra ticket to a practice round for me? I know you’re out there.
2. Golf at Augusta National.
3. A Porsche 911 Turbo, 911 GT 3 or Cayman. I prefer silver similar to picture below
4. A golf trip to St. Andrews (better include the airfare, spending money and hotels too).
5. Golf at Pinehurst #2.
6. Golf at Pebble Beach.
7. Golf at Bandon Dunes.
8. Golf at Shadow Creek (better include some Vegas gambling money and an evening at the Olympic Garden).
9. Golf at Pine Valley.
10. Golf at TPC Sawgrass.
11. A round of golf, including the 19th hole with Anna Rawson.
That’s a pretty good list. More than one submission of each selection will gladly be accepted.
I can barely walk right now. On the 4th hole today I stepped into the cart with my left foot. I put my weight on that leg and then my foot slipped out completely, throwing all my body weight into the cart. My right shin took the entire force of my body weight as it hit the side rail of the cart. My shin hurt like hell and then went numb. Then it felt like it was frozen. In fact, from my mid shin down, my entire leg felt like it was frozen.
My playing partner looked at it and said he saw a dent in my shin. OMG I dented my freakin’ shin. Thrilling.
I’m gimping around and on the 14th hole I look down and my shin had swollen. It looked like it had a half a baseball under the skin. My skin had no felling at all. I could touch the welt and felt nothing. It felt like I’d been to the dentist and had a local anesthetic on that area.
I’m icing it now, with a frozen pack of guacamole.
MEMO TO GOLF COURSES: DON’T ARMORALL THE FREAKING FLOOR OF THE CARTS. I MAY BREAK MY NECK AND SUE YOU INTO THE NEXT SOLAR SYSTEM.
Last couple of days the first joint in my right hand pinky has been hurting pretty bad. Even if I touch it lightly there’s pain. It is seriously inflamed. I don’t feel any bumps or lumps so I think (hope) it is just some tendonitis.
I’m starting a three day golf marathon today. Day one is here in town and the next two days are at a fam trip at Edgewood Tahoe. Time to hit the ibuprophen, gold bond and medical tape.
To get you into the spirit of the Ryder Cup, here are some Ryder Cup themed accessories for you.
Golf Pride makes Ryder Cup golf grips for the European or USA Ryder Cup teams:
Q-Link makes golf performance enhancing bracelets. Their bracelets are “infused with proprietary sympathetic resonance technology which enhances wellness and overall performance.”