This weekend I caught a couple of snaps of some random stuff on the golf course.
Next to the 1st tee here sits “Golf Dog.” This guy was patiently sitting there waiting for his owner. I saw Golf Dog and his owner on the course around the 13th hole too. The dog just stayed in that same place even when the cart was moving.
Play it as it lies?
This classifies for a submission to the “worst lie ever” contest. In order to get this shot, my shoes took on some extra weight…
It is well known that the liquor laws here in my (some day former) home state are f’d up. There have been laws making it illegal to set your drink down. They tried to make the sale of cold beer illegal. You can’t buy beer after 1:00AM. Heaven knows that if you buy beer at 12:59AM you’ll drink responsibly but if you buy it at 1:00:01AM you won’t drink responsibly. My local course can’t sell beer on the 4th hole and the first half of the 5th hole, because those holes are within different city boundaries and they can’t get a permit for the 2nd city.
The state has a monopoly on liquor sales, forcing all sales of booze to be through state owned liquor stores, and is profiting $220,000 PER DAY by jacking up the rates 87%. I pay about $10 for a bottle of wine which I can find in any other state for $5.
Recently I personally experienced a law at a restaurant which blew my mind. This law didn’t allow a waitress who was under 21 years of age to hand me a freaking wine list. Yes a person under 21 couldn’t hand me a piece of paper with letters from the English alphabet printed on it. Those letters actually formed words which can be found in the English language. It is a good thing she wasn’t allowed to even handle that piece of paper. It may have saved her life and many others. Being under 21, this person may have inadvertently read words from the English language which talked about wine. She would have then obviously lost control of herself and all of her personal judgement. She would have obviously then gone on an uncontrollable drunken rampage, killing several people and several small animals… or something like that.
One terribly stupid law, which has made us look like idiots to all who travel here is the “private club” law. To serve hard booze, a bar has to be a “private club.” To enter such a club, you must be a card carrying (paying) member of the club. So some business traveler who is in town for 48 hours has to buy a membership to a club just to enter and have a drink at the end of the day. Wisely, when the world was in town for the 2002 Olympics, lawmakers temporarily suspended this law. If a law isn’t suitable or reasonable 24/7/365, why have it in the first place?
Why all the stupid liquor laws?
It is pretty clear that the LDS (mormon) church is to blame for all of these idiotic laws. They use their immense local power to force down the throats legislate their religious beliefs on all who live and travel here. I was blown away to see this quote brazenly displayed in a local news story:
The liquor reform package was hammered out during weeks of intense negotiations with (Governor) Huntsman’s staff, legislators, and representatives of the hospitality and restaurant industries and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
“…and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”????!!!! WTF? Are you freaking kidding me? Separation of church and state isn’t even a thought here and the lack of such is proudly written in news stories without so much as a blink.
Step upto the bar, Mr. Young
How about this not so humorous story. Guess who owns the most liquor licenses in Provo, Utah? No idea? Mormon Church owned Brigham Young University. It seems that there are a fixed number of liquor licenses per capita available, and when bars sell them, lose them or go out of business, BYU snatches them up. One day there will be NO bars in Provo (or what some of us like to call “Provostan”).
I could go on ranting about this, but I need to run and buy some warm beer and some overpriced wine. I’ll be back soon, unless I get arrested for putting my drink down on a table.
I do a few Lifestyle reviews here including reviews on various food items. Here’s my shortest review ever:
Kirkland/Costco Organic Peanut Butter Is DISGUSTING, unless of course you like drinking your horrible tasting peanut butter through a straw!
I bought a two pack of this peanut butter last week. When I opened the first one I was hoping for a good thick and creamy peanut butter sandwich. I didn’t know I’d have to “pour” the stuff onto my bread though. The peanut butter was in a highly liquid form. I tried to stir it but still it was a runny, disgusting liquid.
I don’t know what I was thinking but I still tried to taste it. I thought “maybe it still tastes good despite the consistency.” I might as well have eaten some cardboard or maybe just some dirt from my garden. That would have tasted better.
I’m a rock & roll drummer in one of my other lives so I like Alice Cooper. I’ve seen him perform many times and he puts on a killer show. He’s one of the few people who can combine rock & roll and golf.
Hey Alice, hire me as your drummer. I promise you a kick ass drummer and a golf buddy to give you a run for your money on the golf course while we’re on tour…
My pal 4Checker did a review of Alice Cooper’s book called “Alice Cooper – Golf Monster.” Check it out over at The Golf Space.
Without going into too much detail, times are tough right now for me on many fronts. I’ve got a bit of that “being kicked while you’re down” syndrome. Don’t worry, HOG isn’t going anywhere.
I should be able to make a big withdrawal from the bank of karma one of these days. In fact I think I’ve built up a big enough karma credit to retire soon.
Golf and life…
My slogan here has been “Golf, life. In that order.” Recently though, my game has suffered big time as a result of not being able to concentrate. I really can’t concentrate on any shot, even during the best part of my game which is putting. If I’m missing three footers, something is wrong. It seems that my current slogan needs to be changed to “Life, golf. In that order.”
As great as I’ve felt about being able to hit balls, play on the simulator and play a few holes over this past winter, my game is a wreck right now.
For many years, golf has been a way of releasing and forgetting about the stresses of life for me. Unfortunately they’re not quite separate right now.