This post is a continuation of the hard hitting golf journalistic series “Golf Stock Photo Fail.” Subtitle: “The Golf Bag.” Be sure to check out part one, Golf Stock Photo Fail – Golf Technique, part two: Golf Stock Photo Fail – The Joy of Leaving Putts Short, and part three Golf Stock Photo Fail – Hump Your Golf Partner.
Apparently the golf bag is a very foreign thing for photographers, advertisers, and people who don’t golf. It can be very complicated, you know, slinging a bag over one’s shoulder. The complexity of the golf bag worsens when one tries to put clubs in it. How many? Two, none, seven? Which ones?
How two morons carry golf bags. As a bonus, neither bag has no more than 4-5 clubs.
Too dumb to figure out the shoulder strap… Awesome. At least he only has 5 clubs! Seriously. Between the two golfers posing for the image and the photographer(s) nobody could figure this out?
“I don’t need to stinking 14 clubs! Wait this bag has a shoulder strap? I thought golf bags were to be carried under the armpit.” –The more I look at this, the more it looks like the bag and the dude were photoshopped together.
Why is this lady carrying an empty golf bag? And why has the photographer rotated the horizon of this shot 36.2 degrees counter-clockwise? And what about the poor, frightened children who obviously have to pee?
“I’m a badass mother f**ker. I only need 7 clubs but I do need a golf cart to carry my bag with 7 clubs. And just because, I put the bag on the passenger’s side of the cart. Don’t mess with me.”
“I can’t believe this bitch is making me carry a tour bag with only 5 clubs.”
This is part three of the web’s best golf series on awful golf stock photos, “Golf Stock Photo Fail.” Part One is about golf technique and Part two is about the Joy of Leaving Putts Short.
This entry is called “Hump Your Golf Partner.” In today’s series, we learn a little too much about Viagra or Cialis, and how awful golf photographers have done a fantastic job capturing the moment. I can’t think of any more awkward golf photos than ones like these below… FORE!
Did you know that women’s putting stats from 2.5 feet are greatly improved when they’re being dry-humped?
Bob! This shaft is stiff!
The nerve, crotch grabbing and humping in front of children, and 4-seater golf carts.
Oh goodness yes! A little to the left. By the way, who are you?
The look on her face is great… “Hey wait a second. I feel that. Down boy.”
Putting never felt so good, even for hispanic couples…
Well Richard, you’ve apparently refilled your Cialis prescription!
She likes it…
Uh, don’t let the mormon church see this one…
My incredible journalistic golf series “Golf Stock Photo Fail” continues with an awesome subject, the joy of leaving putts short!
Never before has missing a putt short been so celebrated, especially by the guy on the right with the right handed glove. And what the hell is the other guy in the background looking at?
This guy is thrilled to have missed his putt short. What the hell is in his left hand?
“Yay! I missed a putt on the practice green!!!”
So joyous, missing putts short. Hope this guy doesn’t hurt himself when he lands.
The next three photos are great! Each golfer fist pumps and shows their joy in missing their putts short. And to add to the dramatic effect, the photographer has rotated the horizon about 29 degrees clockwise! Wowsies!
In the voice of Vern Lundqust, “NO sir!”
“I’ve never missed a putt so good!”
“Yay! Short again! I rule!”
No no no no no. NO.
I can’t take it anymore. I’ve lost my three remaining brain cells after rummaging through a bunch of idiotic golf stock photos. Let’s do this. I will now do a short series on golf stock photo failures. It will be called “Golf Stock Photo Fail.” This post will focus on the “technique” of the golf swing.
You’ve got to be shitting me. This is horrid. Look at this guy’s grip! The club face is pointing the wrong direction, he’s got alligator arms. It’s so bad in so many ways…
It’s all about technique
What in the living hell is this dude doing with his right hand?
Yes… yes. Watch your shot sail off into the distance with your baseball grip. Well played.
Oh my Gawd. I… just… can’t… take… it…
So confident! LOL. The title on this one is “Confident Professional Golfer”
Good mother of God. His hands… are… backward.
Christmas is coming up soon and what better way to spread the holiday cheer than with a fine Honduran cigar? How about this one, the Romeo Y Julieta House of Capulet Toro?
Medallas de Oro Romeo Y Julieta
- Strength: Medium
- Shape: Toro
- Size: 6 x 52
- Country: Honduras
- Wrapper Color: Natural
- Wrapper Origin: Ecuadorian
- Wrapper Leaf: Connecticut
This cigar is a very tasty cigar for my not-so-professional cigar taste, not too strong. Medium strength is good for me. The flavor stays consistent, even toward the end of the cigar’s life where some can get a bit nasty. This size will last me several holes to perhaps 1/3 of a round on the golf course, or about 40-60 minutes on the front porch. Even the lovely bride, who is a newb to cigars, enjoys this one despite the strength being a little bit higher than she would prefer.
The numbers for me don’t lie. My golf scores when enjoying a fine cigar are a good 40% better. I’m not kidding. Perhaps it is that the cigar helps me relax, or perhaps keeps my mind eating itself with bad memories of the last 3-putt. Out of courtesy I always give my opponents an opportunity to surrender as I light up my next cigar.