During today’s round I thought my opponent cutting his pants off with scissors was the strangest thing I’d see, but perhaps I was mistaken. After the round I couldn’t help notice this golf cart at the cart return area. It seems that the driver of the cart left his toothbrush.
I almost left my toothbrush in the golf cart!
I’m intrigued by this. I have more questions than answers.
If someone is obsessed with brushing his/her teeth enough to bring the toothbrush to the course, wouldn’t it make sense that they use a clean one?
Does Bud Light cure gingivitis?
Is brushing and flossing with coffee effective? Espresso?
Did you know that four out of five proctologists recommend Preparation-H for their golfing patients who chew hemorrhoidal tissue?
Today was a rather entertaining Sunday round of golf in my regular group. One of my playing partners a.k.a. opponents was having some pants scripting issues. It seems he was given a pant script when it should have been a shorts script. During the front nine, his pants were driving him nuts for some reason.
At the turn we stopped at the cafe for our usual drinks, food, and pit stop. Upon meeting back up on the 10th tee, the pant script challenged player had apparently changed to shorts, until I looked closer:
The latest shorts from Puma or Dunning? Perhaps not…
He actually borrowed some scissors from the pro shop and cut his pants off. I’m a firm believer of “whatever it takes to shoot a good golf score” and his new cutoffs worked. He played much better on the back nine.
Not sure what part of his clothing he will cut off next Sunday…
I took a five day weekend to do some great hiking and playing in the red rock country of southern Utah this past weekend. I didn’t have a lot of internet access, but I did have the occasional update. One such update came through on several of my social networks about Rickie Fowler’s dramatic victory at THE PLAYERS (always spell that in ALL CAPS, it’s what they do). Nice playing Rickie.
I got far more updates about Rickie Fowler’s girlfriend Alexis Randock though, many from Golf.com. Golf.com (and several others like Golf Magazine) just can’t resist posting T&A anymore. It’s like clockwork. They barely need any relevant reason to post this garbage, which made me think… Yeah that’s a first. They barely need any excuse to post T&A click bait, hot wives and girlfriends (WAG), or hottest women in golf. It’s all crap.
What does it take to trigger a WAG post? Here are a few of the best excuses Golf.com has for posting T&A:
- The sun came up
- The sun went down
- A bear shit in the woods
- PGA Tour player “x” has hot girlfriend or wife
- The featured “model” lives on the same continent as a golf course
- Yoga pants
- 30 seconds since the last T&A “article”
- The current day of the week ends in “y”
- Just looked at their Google analytics and realized nobody gives a rat’s ass about fixing their slice but they LOVE BOOBS!
- Interns know how to repost sexy Instagram photos but don’t know how to write golf articles
- Advertising clicks and revenue are the end-all factor, and BOOBS are the easiest sell! Who cares about being classy?
Thank God for Alexis Randock. With Paulina Gretzky having had a baby and out of the limelight, and with other hot women in golf or WAGS like Lindsey Vonn and Amanda Dufner leaving the game, Golf.com was in trouble. Thankfully they have a new set of breasts to suckle up to.
What are Golf Digest, Golf Magazine, and all the golf troll websites and blogs to do? The latest damage to the golf industry is the announcement that Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn have broken up. It’s yet another in the growing trend of hot WAGS leaving golf. Forget declining equipment sales, bankrupt golf courses and tanking golf real estate. Golf has a bigger problem, the HWIGS (hottest women in golf) and HWAGS (hot wives and girlfriends) exodus.
Golf media outlets depend on drive-by click bait T&A articles for their traffic. After all, how many times can we fix the same hacker’s slice or produce yet another top driver list comprised of drivers by companies that pay the most in advertising dollars?
If you recall, golf lost a hot WAG in Caroline Wozniacki, Rory McIlory’s now former girlfriend and fiance. You know, the hot tennis player. On March 31st 2015, now known as black Tuesday to golf magazines, Amanda Dufner and Jason Dufner announced divorce.
And now Vonn is leaving. Red alert.
Surely Golf Digest and Golf Magazine, along with many other golf media outlets who produce such classy T&A content, are holding emergency meetings as we speak. They don’t want to go the direction of Back9Network, which essentially went belly-up when easy access to photos of Amanda Dufner dried up.
I predict a new content classification from the Golf Digests and Golf Magazines of the world, “Hot FWAGS.” Ah yes I can see the intern-written non-spell-checked Instagram re-post slide shows now: Get ready for “Hot Former Wives and Girlfriends.” They might even go “Hot WWLITSCAAGCS,” hot women who live in the same city as a golf course. Perhaps HWIGWLWFNMOAGC: Hottest women in golf who live within forty nautical miles of a golf course.
I also expect to see more “in depth” coverage of the hot WAGS and hottest women in golf that are still around, like Rickie Fowler’s model girlfriend. And don’t forget the puntastic “sexy golfer Blair O’Neal hits out of a wet lie.” I get it. So smooth.
While I can’t be 100% sure about who or where the golf media outlets turn to for their hot women wives girlfriends and all that, I can guarantee we’ll see yoga pants.
Yes, my brain has shorted out and the cerebellum is hotwired to my cerebral cortex backwards… Like I mentioned in my last post about the evil lady golfers who cast no shadows, I’m cleaning out my laptop files, including screen captured images which are puzzling, dumb, odd, sexist, or who knows what. I stumbled across this one which made my brain cringe. No I don’t cringe. My brain does.
“You deserve it?”
How does Troon Golf know Jordan Spieth deserved it? What criteria did Troon Golf use to determine whether Jordan Spieth deserved it or not? Who determined that Troon is the one who decides if someone deserves something? And if they did determine Troon was qualified to determine whether someone deserves something, who the hell put them in charge? What if Spieth didn’t deserve it but still won? What if Spieth deserved it and didn’t win? Did other players deserve it? Why didn’t those other players win if they deserved it? Why does Troon not post commentary about players who won other tournaments and deserved to win those? Why doesn’t Troon post “you did not deserve it” to players who won but didn’t deserve to? Why?
Whether or not Troon was qualified to state that Jordan deserved it, and whether or not Jordan did in fact deserve it, what is the purpose of saying so? Maybe Troon thought Jordan would appreciate being informed that he deserved it? Perhaps Troon thought Jordan didn’t know he deserved it and Troon was simply helping him out? Certainly if Spieth really did deserve it, he should have known, right? Could Spieth have deserved it and not realized he did? It would seem Troon thought he didn’t know he deserved it, assuming in fact he did.
I deserve answers!