When I first heard the announcement that ESPN was going to be covering The Masters I posted a comment saying it was a good thing. My thought was, given ESPN’s HD capability we’d be seeing Augusta National on TV better then ever before.
On second thought…
But after some golf chat in the van on my Black Mesa trip with a bunch of golf writers, I’m changing my tune. It hadn’t even crossed my mind what would happen if The Masters broadcast was “ESPNized.”
Could you imagine having to listen to the horrific golf announcing by Chris Berman during the freaking Masters? I’d be turning off the audio for long before he could spout out his 194 millionth, not-so-funny-anymore sports names. I can hear it now…
Chris Berman: “Woop, woop. Mickelson just drained a putt. He’s one below par. Now let’s go to Roger Chocolate Malt-be.”
Stuart Scott: “Straight butta! Goosen is as cool as the other side of the pillow.”
Chris Berman: “Watch Tiger’s ball go rumblin’ bumblin’ stumblin’ deeep into the bottom of the cup.”
Stuart Scott: “Boo-yah! Tiger must be the bus driver cause he was takin’ Phil to school.”
Then Vijay Singh backs a wedge up…
Stuart Scott: “Yup yup. Call me big daddy when you back that thing up. Bubba Watson just hit a 342 yard drive. Wow! That as hardcore as the Wu-Tang Clan on steroids!”
OMG (a web geek abbreviation for “oh my God”)…. To quote the great Ian Mac Allister when he discovered he was shooting the course record with a wretched NXT, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
The “ESPNification” of The Masters would be a tragedy and I believe the stuffy old powers that be at Augusta National will not allow the tainting of their tournament.
Note: All Scott and Berman quotes used here are REAL. Yes, even the stupid “one below par” quote… OMG. GAG ME.