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It’s the BEST time of year! NO, not the Masters… APPAREL SCRIPTS!

Written by: Tony Korologos | Wednesday, April 5th, 2017
Categories: BoneheadsGolfGolf ApparelJordan SpiethPGA TourRory McIloryThe Masters
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I’ve been waiting for this week to come for months! It’s the absolute best time of year in golf. No no no… not the Masters Tournament silly, it’s APPAREL SCRIPT SEASON!  Apparel scripts are by far my favorite part of the golf industry.  And if you’re like me, you go down to the local golf shop and buy EVERY piece of apparel in every script.  I do it in hopes I can golf just like Rory McIlory or Dustin Johnson.  Maybe if I wear the same shirt Bubba does I can hit my driver 350 yards!

2017 Masters Apparel Scripts

I must admit, apparel scripting has come a long way and I think I’ve had quite a bit to do with it.  The crop of scripts for the Masters this week is quite good.  Those busy golf PR people have been working hard all winter drawing up sketches, making designs, and hiring lawn sprinkler installers to make “cool” apparel hangers.  Below, enjoy my 2017 Masters apparel script commentary and critiques.

Bill Haas, a.k.a. “Jason”

I must start with the best scripting for 2017. I can’t resist going for it right off the bat.  For this year’s Masters Bill Haas is going with the “Halloween face” look.  It’s kind of a mask-like thing covering his whole face, but has some kind of cross burned into it… or maybe it’s stitched into it.

Love the Jason look, or is it Freddie?  I’m not sure how well Haas will play this week, with his whole face and eyes covered.

Louis Oosthuizen

I’m quite concerned about Louis Oosthuizen’s ability to compete in the Masters with only one pair of pants. Those could get quite, um, not pleasant after four days of huffing around the hilly Augusta National.  He’s okay in the shirt department though.  I don’t see any shoes, underwear, or socks.  That one hat could get a little gamy by the end of the tournament.

Dustin Johnson

adidas went cheap this year and is using the same photoshop template for apparel scripts that they did last year. Must be a cost cutting measure.  Three pairs of pants is odd, hehe.  I mean, assuming he makes the cut which pair will he wear a second time on Sunday? Or will he wear one pair Friday and Saturday, then a new clean pair on Sunday?  No socks. No hat. No underwear.  Walking Augusta in no undies could be chafe city.

Justin Thomas

Sigh. Pass the Grey Poupon.  If Justin Thomas looks even remotely like this I’ll play the first hole of my home course naked.  And how can whoever makes the fabrics in his shirts and pants do the “colors floating in a cloud outside of the fabric” thing?  I’d like to see them pull that off.  It’s a pretty complete script. He at least has shoes.

Rickie Fowler

Rickie Fowler’s script is pretty solid.  I see 4 shirts, 4 pants.   I don’t see socks or undies and I wonder about the three pairs of shoes. Assuming he makes the cut, which pair will he wear twice. When I look at the bag I can only hope he remembered his clubs. Hard to score well in the Masters with an empty golf bag.  The threads in this script are fine but I’m more intrigued by the pipe stand.  Does that fit in the tiny Masters locker room?  Did Puma hire a plumber to make that thing?  And who was first on the block with the “plumbing” stand idea?  See next analysis.

Rory McIlory

Nike has improved in their scripting.  At least this time Rory has shirts with sleeves, and four of them.  He’s got four hats, shoes, and pants too.  Nice job Nike.  I see no socks though. That might hurt.  And who knows on the undies, or does Rory “free ball” it?

More importantly, check out the killer plastic sprinkler pipe stand. Does Rory have one of those for each outfit?  Does it fit in the Augusta locker room?  Can he do pull-ups on it?  How many versions did they make until they came up with this one?  Did they have a plumber or sprinkler installer do it?  And did Nike come up with the plumbing idea before Puma?  Who was first? I want to know.

Danny Willett

Who is Danny Willett? He’s the guy that won last year, after Jordan Spieth melted down on the 12th hole.  It was actually a tremendous final round 67 with no bogeys.  I doubt Danny can play that well with no shoes or socks, or underwear for that matter.  And it might be even harder if his pants are falling down (no belt).

Henrik Stenson

Okay who is copying who? The artsy fartsy thing does nothing for me.  Nothing.  I can’t even tell which pants or shirts these are so I can go buy them at the store.  And are these clubs Henrik has four different ones, or the same one?  I hope four different ones. Henrik has a wee bit of a temper. He’s known to break stuff.

Brandt “No Face” Snedeker

I’m sorry, but the no-face thing is creepy. Especially the one on the right. I can’t go beyond that.

Jordan Spieth

Welp… Are any of these the same colors or styles he wore in last year’s final round?  I hope not, for his sake. Bad apparel scripts can cost a player a major championship.

All Time Greatest Masters Apparel Script

2014 Masters Apparel Script – Golf PR Companies Take Note

Blah. All those companies above can’t hold a candle to my apparel scripting skills.  I’m not sure why one of these big golf companies hasn’t tried to hire me away from blogging, just for my scripting skills.  My 2014 Masters apparel script stands the test of time, right down to the Masters themed underwear. It’s the “apparel script heard ’round the world.”  It’s an apparel script “like no other.” “YES SIR!”


2016 Masters Commentary

Written by: Tony Korologos | Tuesday, April 12th, 2016
Categories: Jordan SpiethPro GolfRory McIloryThe MastersTiger Woods
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I’ve never done crack or any severely addicting drug… or even mildly addictive drugs.  But I feel like I’m in a serious withdrawal state right now after the Masters concluded a day and a half ago.  The Masters is as close to a drug as tournament golf can get.

Most “journalists” have a large portion of their articles written before the tournament ends.  I’m starting mine over a day later, and honestly, I’m coming up pretty blank.  Perhaps I’m partially brain dead from traveling all last week to the other side of the planet, and then suffering a sudden passing of an uncle on Masters Saturday.  That’s my excuse.  Then again, I’m not a journalist.  I’m a blogger.  Thankfully I don’t have a deadline a minimum number of words to turn in.

Willett Winning or Spieth Collapsing – Which Will Be Remembered?

Quick quiz: Who won the Masters the year Greg Norman blew a 6-shot lead?  Golf aficionados probably know, but the average joe doesn’t.  It was Nick Faldo, the first englishman to win the Masters.

Will the 2016 Masters be the same? Will it be known as the year Spieth blew the 5-shot lead with nine holes to play?  I hope not and here’s why.  Danny Willett played his ass off.  His final round was as close to flawless as it could have been.  Willett had five birdies and NO bogeys.  None.  Willett shot a 67 in the final round of only his 2nd Masters to win it.  That’s spectacular golf people.  Spectacular.  Hats off to Danny Willett.

Jordan Spieth

Jordan Spieth was fighting his swing in the final round of the 2016 Masters.  He was getting away with it until #12 where he dunked two shots in the water and one in the back bunker on the world’s most famous par-3.  He was able to recover from his off-shots previously and make up for it with great putting, but you can’t hit a recovery shot from water.

I think this Masters will be a very good learning experience for Spieth.  It might take a little while for the sting and mental effects to subside, but in the long run it will be a character builder and something he can look back on and build from.  Greg Norman used his Masters meltdown as a building block to great golf and business success.

Rory McIlory

One major championship left for Rory to claim the grand slam.  I think this one is going to be more and more difficult for Rory to obtain.  He has the perfect game for the Masters physically, but mentally this one is going to be tougher and tougher for him.

Rory played some very questionable shots from a game management standpoint. One in particular is the punch shot he hit out of the left trees on the par-4 11th.  Too aggressive and it went in the water.

Jason Day

Jason Day should win a Masters one of these years.  He too has a perfect game for Augusta.  He just didn’t seem to have it this past week, especially with the putter.

Ernie Els and the Yips

On the first day we watched Ernie Els 7-putt (later it was recounted and was determined to be a 6-putt).  Bad case of the yips and impossible to watch.

Aces on 16

The Sunday pin placement on the par-3 16th lends itself to aces and that’s just part of the great setup that produces excitement at the Masters.  The 3rd and final ace was by Louis Oosthuizen and was amazing.  His ball hit another player’s ball and still went in the hole.  Never seen anything like that before.

No Tiger. No Phil. No Problem.

This is the first time since possibly the mid-90s that neither Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson have at least been part of the Masters conversation.  Times aren’t changing.  They have changed.  Welcome to the new world.  We may have a flash of Phil and Tiger in the future still, but the new guard has taken over.

The Masters Never Disappoints

I say this every year and it’s true every time I say it.  The Masters Tournament never disappoints.  Thanks to Bobby Jones and Allister Mackenzie for setting up a golf course and event that is truly the best and most exciting and entertaining, year in and year out.  Even though I was not able to watch Thursday or most of Saturday this year due to more important things conflicting, it was still a thrill.

Good news! Only 359 days until the 2017 Masters Tournament!


2016 Masters Tournament – 1/2 Way Commentary

Written by: Tony Korologos | Saturday, April 9th, 2016
Categories: Jordan SpiethMiscellaneousPGA TourPro GolfRory McIloryThe Masters
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Due to an emergency trip, I missed most of Thursday’s Masters Tournament coverage. I caught up with as much as I could via media and the internets. The highlight for Thursday was that Jordan Spieth, who everyone thought was “struggling,” jumped out to the lead with a fine 66. The lowlight was Ernie Else apparently 7-putting for a 10 on the first hole. One of the worst cases of the yips I’ve ever seen. Later they recounted the putts and it was “only” a six putt. Kept it under double digits.

The course, because of windy conditions, was playing tougher than normal.

I was so shredded from flying to Singapore and back in 4 days that I was not very functional Friday. Massive headache that morning. So I stayed home from work and had to relax. Fortunately there was a golf tournament on to keep me from being too bored.

Friday’s round was even more tough. The lowest score of the day was -1, so nobody broke 70. Haven’t seen that in a Masters in a long time. Rory McIlory was one of the ones who shot that low round, to get to -3. Spieth dropped two shots today, for a 74. That’s the first time he’s ever shot over par at Augusta. Amazing.

Some interesting events have happened so far. Today was the last round Tom Watson will every play competitively at Augusta. What a class act. Fun times following him and Rory around during a practice round a couple of years ago.

Jason Day quickly went to 2nd place and -5, but dropped some shots to end up +1. +1 seemed out of it for a while, but when Jordan came back to the field it made +1 within reach.

Phil Mickelson’s apparel script featured some strange looking old-school pants and no belt. He missed the cut. End of story. Blame the scripting.  EDIT: I’m told Phil was wearing a belt which was the same color as his pants. #fail


Everyone is Excited About the Saturday Spieth vs McIlory Showdown But…

Written by: Tony Korologos | Saturday, April 9th, 2016
Categories: Jordan SpiethPGA TourPro GolfRory McIloryThe Masters
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Rory McIloryCan’t wait for Masters Saturday to start. The big showdown between Jordan Spieth and Rory McIlory is about to commence. They’re paired together and every fan and media member seems to be salivating like mad. But…

Often times when there’s a big matchup like this it ends up being a dud and some player from the pack overtakes them. If that happens who would it be? Windy conditions and fast greens would separate a player who has the experience and guts to weather tough and high intensity golf. My quick look at the leader board didn’t produce any obvious players within a couple of shots. However there are two players at +1 who could definitely shake it up, Angel Cabrera and Jason Day.

The forecast is for winds from 18-26 mph, and the wind will worsen as the day goes on.  The advantage is for the early players, not the final groups.

I loved Jordan Spieth’s comments when asked about playing with Rory. He said he’d rather play against someone less threatening. That’s fantastic.

Let’s go.


2016 Masters Tournament Saturday and Sunday Viewing Schedule

Written by: Tony Korologos | Saturday, April 9th, 2016
Categories: Jordan SpiethPGA TourPro GolfRory McIloryThe Masters
Tags:

Saturday April 9, 2016

3-7 p.m. ET on CBS TV

Masters.com Live Streaming:
Featured Groups: 10:30 a.m. – 7 p.m.
On the Range: 11 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Amen Corner: 12-7 p.m.
Holes 15-16: 12:45-7 p.m.

Sunday April 10, 2016

2-7 p.m. ET on CBS TV

Masters.com Live Streaming:
Featured Groups: 10:30 a.m. – 7 p.m.
On the Range: 11 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Amen Corner: 12-7 p.m.
Holes 15-16: 12:45-7 p.m.


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