Golf websites are scrambling, producing all sorts of “what’s wrong with Tiger Woods?” articles. The pundits are pontificating and theorizing, endlessly babbling about what Tiger is doing wrong or what’s wrong with him. From Golf Channel’s Brandel Chamblee to Fox Sports’ Greg Norman to the every day six-pack hack golfers wearing their sleeveless shirts showing their barbed wire tattoos, everyone has their theories.
None of them are correct.
It’s All About Apparel Scripting
To the uneducated/inexperienced golf media member or golf spectator the solutions would lie in Tiger’s swing coach, practice routine, equipment, personal problems, etc. But to my keen and experienced golf blogger eye, the reason for Tiger’s poor play is obvious: bad apparel scripting.
While we can’t be sure if it is one piece or the whole ensemble, the results don’t lie. Something is rubbing, squeezing, chafing, blistering, or perhaps cutting off Tiger’s circulation. Maybe his hat is too tight and it cutting off blood flow to his brain causing bad golf decision making? Maybe the tighty whities are too tight? Shoes might be causing blisters? Maybe it is just the color schemes? The white hat and black belt don’t match? The socks aren’t moisture wicking enough?
Whether it is one of the issues above, all of them, or a combination of a few, something is going to have to change. If Tiger, Nike, and Tiger’s “handlers” don’t adjust his apparel scripting soon, the 85 from last week’s Memorial Tournament could be the tip of the iceberg.
Get Leonardo DiCaprio on the phone.
Rory McIlory Club Throw
A couple of months ago Rory McIlory launched an iron into the lake at Trump Doral. In an awkward moment, the Donald gave Rory the club back on the range the next day. Then this past week McIlory tossed a 3-wood at the BMW after he was dissatisfied with his shot.
Last week I watched a golfer on my home course, a former basketball player who is well known in Salt Lake (no it is not John Stockton or Karl Malone), toss his driver off of the 18th tee behind him. The white-headed TaylorMade bounced across the pavement of a local road and ended up near the 4th tee. He had thrown his club out of bounds. I yelled over to him, “you threw your club out of bounds. You are going to have to throw another one off the tee.” He didn’t think that comment was very funny. I did though.
These club throwing events I’ve witnessed recently have inspired me to post the Rules of Golf Club Throwing, so those of you golfers who throw a club know exactly how to proceed after.
Rule 69.6: Throw Club In Hazard
In the case of the first McIlory toss into the lake at Doral, rule 69.6 comes into play. The rule states that if a club is thrown into a hazard the golfer has several options:
- Incur one throw penalty. Re-throw the club from the original position.
- If the club is throwable from the hazard, the player can throw it from the hazard as long as he doesn’t ground the club or move loose impediments.
- Incur one throw penalty. Take a two club drop no nearer the hole at the point in which the club entered the hazard, then throw the club from there.
- Incur one throw penalty. Pick a point on the opposite side of the hazard, equidistant to the point the club entered the hazard and throw the club from there.
Rule 69.6 A: Throw Club Out Of Bounds
In the case where the basketball player threw his club out of bounds from the tee there is only one option:
- Incur one throw penalty. Re-throw club from tee or original position club was thrown from.
Rule 69.6 B: Thrown Club Lost
I watched a player throw his driver in disgust up at Soldier Hollow Golf Course a couple of years ago. He threw the driver into some very deep grass. The grass was not a hazard area and it was not out of bounds. A player in my group yelled over to the thrower, “you will have to throw a provisional in case you can’t find the first one.”
The options a player has after throwing a club which may be lost are as follows:
- Throw a provisional club. Declare to playing partners that the club is a provisional. In the event the first throw is not found, the provisional throw becomes the club in play and a one throw penalty is assessed.
- The player can declare the first throw lost and throw a second club, under penalty of one throw.
- The player can proceed to look for the first thrown club and throw it as it lies if found. If the club is not found, the player must return to the original throwing position and take a “throw and distance” penalty, throwing a new club.
In the case of McIlory’s throw at the BMW yesterday, the club was not lost and not in a hazard, or unthrowable. The throw would simply count as a throw and he would throw the next one where it lies.
I try to avoid posting the same material that many other golf sites do but this time I MUST post this video. The most interesting man in the golf world is without a doubt Miguel Angel Jimenez. Today his legend grew even more as he made an ace to win 288 bottles of beer on the European Tour at the Open De Espana.
Part of the celebration included a Chi Chi Rodriguez sword sheathing along with a dance that could rival Michael Jackson’s best moves…
Hats off to Miguel Angel Jimenez.
I took a five day weekend to do some great hiking and playing in the red rock country of southern Utah this past weekend. I didn’t have a lot of internet access, but I did have the occasional update. One such update came through on several of my social networks about Rickie Fowler’s dramatic victory at THE PLAYERS (always spell that in ALL CAPS, it’s what they do). Nice playing Rickie.
I got far more updates about Rickie Fowler’s girlfriend Alexis Randock though, many from Golf.com. Golf.com (and several others like Golf Magazine) just can’t resist posting T&A anymore. It’s like clockwork. They barely need any relevant reason to post this garbage, which made me think… Yeah that’s a first. They barely need any excuse to post T&A click bait, hot wives and girlfriends (WAG), or hottest women in golf. It’s all crap.
What does it take to trigger a WAG post? Here are a few of the best excuses Golf.com has for posting T&A:
- The sun came up
- The sun went down
- A bear shit in the woods
- PGA Tour player “x” has hot girlfriend or wife
- The featured “model” lives on the same continent as a golf course
- Yoga pants
- 30 seconds since the last T&A “article”
- The current day of the week ends in “y”
- Just looked at their Google analytics and realized nobody gives a rat’s ass about fixing their slice but they LOVE BOOBS!
- Interns know how to repost sexy Instagram photos but don’t know how to write golf articles
- Advertising clicks and revenue are the end-all factor, and BOOBS are the easiest sell! Who cares about being classy?
Thank God for Alexis Randock. With Paulina Gretzky having had a baby and out of the limelight, and with other hot women in golf or WAGS like Lindsey Vonn and Amanda Dufner leaving the game, Golf.com was in trouble. Thankfully they have a new set of breasts to suckle up to.
While everyone is enjoying this week’s THE PLAYERS (always spell THE PLAYERS in ALL CAPS, it is what they do) Championship, I thought perhaps I’d share a quick link to my experience playing TPC Sawgrass. The highlight of the round was making birdie on the tough 14th. The lowlight was… well, the par-3 17th island green, which kicked my ass.
Why do my arms feel like rubber at this moment?
Here’s my full TPC Sawgrass Stadium Course review.