The U.S. Open is this week at Oakmont. The course is setup to be the toughest course in the history of professional golf. According to many it is going to be a bloodbath. Watch for the pampered tour pros to be whining and sniveling about how hard it is. Poor babies.
As is customary during major golf championships, and a few other bigger golf tournaments, the golf apparel manufacturers release their “apparels scripts” to journalists and bloggers around the globe. Those journalists eat it up because it is easy content their lazy asses can just repost, and because they think they might get a free shirt out of the deal. Here’s Jason Day’s apparel script from adidas. It’s so cute.
For years now I’ve come up with my own “scripting” for these events, from g-strings to dirty laundry to beer scripting. Since this year’s U.S. Open is going to be so brutally hard, I thought my apparel scripting should reflect what it will really take to survive: body armor.
Are you geared for war? FORE!
#10: Bloggers and social media accounts change their avatar to a photo of the par-3 17th “island green” at TPC Sawgrass
#9: Endless video/audio replays will show Hal Sutton hitting a 6-iron to the finishing hole and uttering the famous TPC statement “be the right club today.” It was the right club. Sutton beat Tiger Woods that day in 2000.
#8: Whenever the term “THE PLAYERS Championship” is written, “The Players” is written in ALL CAPS. That’s what they do.
#7: Video loops of the Fred Couples “par” on the par-3 17th, when he holed out from the tee after dunking his first shot in the water.
#6: Endless video replays of the long putt Tiger Woods drained on the par-3 17th en route to his victory. The putt was “better than most.”
#5: Endless video and commentary about how 482 million golf balls find a watery grave on the par-3 17th every year.
#4: Endless video of PGA Tour pros gagging on the par-3 17th with balls splashing long, short, off the railroad ties, off the path… aaaand into the water on the par-3 17th.
#3: Golf companies and their PR/ad firms show their TPC apparel scripts.
#2: “Dye-abolical” is a common buzzword by announcers who are describing the course design of architect Pete Dye.
#1: Endless “5th Major Championship” discussion, along with nauseatingly repetitive polls, forum discussions, and social media posts as to whether or not THE PLAYERS (remember the ALL CAPS) should be the a 5th major. No it shouldn’t. Let’s not go all “LPGA Tour” on this.
Tiger Woods posted this driver swing today.
I’m no expert, but this is not the Tiger Woods we all used to know. He can’t get to his front foot… AT ALL. Watch the front foot and left leg. He’s so upright and the move to the finish looks completely artificial or robotic, or something.
I’m finding this intriguing to watch, in a drunken girl bar fight kind of way…
I’ve never done crack or any severely addicting drug… or even mildly addictive drugs. But I feel like I’m in a serious withdrawal state right now after the Masters concluded a day and a half ago. The Masters is as close to a drug as tournament golf can get.
Most “journalists” have a large portion of their articles written before the tournament ends. I’m starting mine over a day later, and honestly, I’m coming up pretty blank. Perhaps I’m partially brain dead from traveling all last week to the other side of the planet, and then suffering a sudden passing of an uncle on Masters Saturday. That’s my excuse. Then again, I’m not a journalist. I’m a blogger. Thankfully I don’t have a deadline a minimum number of words to turn in.
Willett Winning or Spieth Collapsing – Which Will Be Remembered?
Quick quiz: Who won the Masters the year Greg Norman blew a 6-shot lead? Golf aficionados probably know, but the average joe doesn’t. It was Nick Faldo, the first englishman to win the Masters.
Will the 2016 Masters be the same? Will it be known as the year Spieth blew the 5-shot lead with nine holes to play? I hope not and here’s why. Danny Willett played his ass off. His final round was as close to flawless as it could have been. Willett had five birdies and NO bogeys. None. Willett shot a 67 in the final round of only his 2nd Masters to win it. That’s spectacular golf people. Spectacular. Hats off to Danny Willett.
Jordan Spieth was fighting his swing in the final round of the 2016 Masters. He was getting away with it until #12 where he dunked two shots in the water and one in the back bunker on the world’s most famous par-3. He was able to recover from his off-shots previously and make up for it with great putting, but you can’t hit a recovery shot from water.
I think this Masters will be a very good learning experience for Spieth. It might take a little while for the sting and mental effects to subside, but in the long run it will be a character builder and something he can look back on and build from. Greg Norman used his Masters meltdown as a building block to great golf and business success.
One major championship left for Rory to claim the grand slam. I think this one is going to be more and more difficult for Rory to obtain. He has the perfect game for the Masters physically, but mentally this one is going to be tougher and tougher for him.
Rory played some very questionable shots from a game management standpoint. One in particular is the punch shot he hit out of the left trees on the par-4 11th. Too aggressive and it went in the water.
Jason Day should win a Masters one of these years. He too has a perfect game for Augusta. He just didn’t seem to have it this past week, especially with the putter.
Ernie Els and the Yips
On the first day we watched Ernie Els 7-putt (later it was recounted and was determined to be a 6-putt). Bad case of the yips and impossible to watch.
Aces on 16
The Sunday pin placement on the par-3 16th lends itself to aces and that’s just part of the great setup that produces excitement at the Masters. The 3rd and final ace was by Louis Oosthuizen and was amazing. His ball hit another player’s ball and still went in the hole. Never seen anything like that before.
No Tiger. No Phil. No Problem.
This is the first time since possibly the mid-90s that neither Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson have at least been part of the Masters conversation. Times aren’t changing. They have changed. Welcome to the new world. We may have a flash of Phil and Tiger in the future still, but the new guard has taken over.
The Masters Never Disappoints
I say this every year and it’s true every time I say it. The Masters Tournament never disappoints. Thanks to Bobby Jones and Allister Mackenzie for setting up a golf course and event that is truly the best and most exciting and entertaining, year in and year out. Even though I was not able to watch Thursday or most of Saturday this year due to more important things conflicting, it was still a thrill.
Good news! Only 359 days until the 2017 Masters Tournament!
It’s the weekend at the Masters Tournament! Cozy up to the tube in your favortie chair, grab some snacks and stock up your drinking selection. Print out the game below and enjoy the show!