Boneheads


The Consequences of the Ball You Hit

Written by: Tony Korologos | Monday, April 18th, 2016
Categories: BoneheadsGolfGolf For WomenMiscellaneous

I love golf signs, especially ones that I have to read about 300 times to figure them out and still can’t.
Consequences Golf Sign

Analysis

I love how some grammar freak like me used a golf pencil to put in the missing comma after “the golfer.”

The sign addresses “the golfer.” So what if a person who isn’t a golfer is reading the sign? And what if a person who is not a golfer hits a ball? Or is the sign simply trying to call out the golfer in a group of non golfers? “Hey you, the golfer.”

I’m still trying to wrap myself around the “consequences of the ball you hit” part.  The ball has consequences? I find that hard to believe but let’s assume it does.  Why shouldn’t the ball itself be responsible for its own consequences?  Why should I, assuming I’m the golfer, be responsible?


Today’s Putter Grip and Golf Shoe Scripting

Written by: Tony Korologos | Sunday, April 17th, 2016
Categories: BoneheadsGolfGolf GearHackers
Tags:

Apparel scripting is one of the most crucial and important aspects of one’s golf game, just ask any golf company or golf PR person around the major championships.  It’s all about the scripts.

With that in mind I crafted a hell of a combo golf shoe and putter grip script today and it really made a huge difference in my performance and my score.  Check it out:

Shoe Grip Script

The goal of today’s shoe and putter grip scripting was to set a color scheme and combination which allowed me to fully concentrate on the shot at hand. One which was simple, and not distracting. One would not want to be midway through one’s putting stroke only to be completely distracted by the fact that there are 73 different colors between your shoes, socks, and putter grip.

The script worked very well and I played a solid and satisfying round in high winds and cold.

For my next script I plan to start with this setup, then drop acid.


2016 Masters Tournament Dead Apparel Scripts – Gone But Not Forgotten

Written by: Tony Korologos | Friday, April 8th, 2016
Categories: BoneheadsPro GolfThe Masters
Tags:

The cut has come at the 2016 Masters Tournament.  Below are the apparel scripts which didn’t make the cut.  Sadly these apparel choices cost their players a chance at the ultimate piece of apparel, the green jacket.  All the man-hours golf PR put into contriving these apparel scripts, designing them graphically, and pumping them out to all the blogs and golf sites who eat up this spoon-fed content they don’t have to write themselves, is sadly wasted.

This is a tribute to those fine apparel scripts who won’t see the light of day this weekend at the Masters.  We don’t want them to be forgotten.  We love them.

No flat bills on the weekend. The traffic cone will be missed.

The Schwartzel was not with Charl this week…

Who? I don’t know either… But he has a scripter

I can’t remember who this script belongs to… Don’t care enough to look it up.

This is a complex situation, because some of the shoes were meant for the weekend which were used Thursday and Friday

Where do apparel scripts go after they die? Do they get recycled into the next “scriptable” event? Are they donated to charity (hope so). Are they destroyed, never to be used again?

I feel bad for these poor lost scripts. They’re like lost drunken souls who no longer know who they are and no longer care. Offer them a drink.


Make Augusta National Golf Club Look Bad Contest Winner Announced

Written by: Tony Korologos | Friday, April 8th, 2016
Categories: Boneheads

Congratulations are in order to “Your Golf Travel” for winning the first annual “Make Augusta National Golf Club Look Bad” contest!  Check out this beauty of a photo:

MakeAugustaLookBad

Let’s analyze the genius of this photo.  How many different ways could they make the world’s most beautiful golf course look so terrible?

  • Photograph at a 29.7 degree tilt to the left, to make the view nauseated and dizzy
  • Make greens look dried and burned out
  • Make fairway look dried and burned out
  • Overexpose photo so skies look like a nuclear white-out
  • Position photo so 50% of the content is the overexposed nuclear white-out
  • Shoot photo at such a low resolution that the trees in the background completely pixelate into digital gibberish

There you have it. Congratulations to Your Golf Travel!  Email me to collect your prize, a free PDF on the basics of digital photography.


The Word Masters is Not Plural

Written by: Tony Korologos | Friday, April 8th, 2016
Categories: BoneheadsPro GolfThe Masters
Tags:

This time of year is great, except for all the articles written by media who know nothing about golf and cover it maybe a max of four times per year.  I’ve heard people call major tournaments “Masters,” as in “there are four Masters each year…”  Then there are the boneheaded “The Masters have begun” statements, like below.

Masters_Have_Begun

The Masters is a golf tournament. It is singular.  The Masters Tournament is one of four “Major Championships” per year in golf.  One should say, “the Masters has begun.”


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