My golf game has suffered this year. That’s what having a 2-year-old son, a lovely bride, several jobs, a new hobby (hopefully business) passion, and about 20 websites will do. For many years I’ve managed to be able to squeeze in four rounds of golf per week during golf season here in northern Utah. This is about half the year. At four rounds per week I can get enough reps (me and Tiger) in to get my handicap to around the one range.
Lately though, I’ve been at one nine hole round and one 18 hole round per week. Yes, cry me a river. First world problems. No need to comment.
With that little play or practice I can’t expect to play at the highest level. Today I played 18 holes and tried to keep that in mind, not getting too mad if I didn’t hit as many solid shots as normal or score as well as I want to. I shot five over with six bogeys and one birdie. My short game, especially with so little practice, is a sieve of leaked strokes. I think that’s pretty average and what I can expect from my ability level with not many reps.
This brings up a point I’ve talked about previously, which is whether I can find enjoyment in the game if I’m not able to play at the level I want to. Golf takes a lot of time, money, practice, resources… Knowing these things, and knowing I likely will not improve makes me ponder if it is worth continuing. Today I enjoyed playing with a couple of long time pals, and was into that more than counting strokes.
Strangely, I’m looking forward to winter here. That’s a first. Never happened before. I plan to use the time off from golf to really evaluate what I get from the game, what I want from it, and what it keeps me from doing or achieving. Come spring perhaps I will have reached some conclusions and have a sense of direction, and better place golf (or not) in my life.
I may not have typed all this drivel if I would have just made a couple more birdies today…
I get out, they pull me back in…
I can’t resist another commentary, okay rant, on apparel scripting. Yes, one billleeeeeooon times is apparently not enough. It’s PGA Championship week. The best part of a major championship week is not the drama, not the best players in the world competing on incredible golf courses under immense pressure… nooooo. The best part is the apparel scripting. PR firms and apparel companies release their “scripts” and lazy journalists blindly repost it because, well, it’s much easier than actually writing something useful and informative.
I look differently at apparel scripts. I analyze them for hours, even days. There is brilliance in these scripts. The last two major championships Tiger Woods’s pant scripter only put two pairs in the script, essentially predicting missed cuts. Boom. The pant scripter nailed both.
Below are a few PGA Championship apparel scripts with my expert analysis, and grades:
Above is the apparel scripting for Dustin Johnson. My first comment is that I’m amazed they were able to find four guys who look exactly like DJ to pose for this image. Either that or DJ is one of four identical quadruplets. This scripting is nearly identical in style to his scripting for the last two major championships, which he arguably should have won. The scripting says no win for DJ this year.
Grade: B – Nice gray colors. Bonus points for finding four guys who look exactly like DJ to post for the picture.
Pretty amazing apparel script above. Who would make an apparel script for the 278th ranked golfer in the world? Nike. As mentioned, this script only has two pairs of pants. The pant scripter once again is predicting a missed cut. There’s a lot of rough and about 40,003 bunkers at Whistling Straits. Not sure three balls and eight tees will be enough. Plus walking around this hilly course with no shoes, no socks, and no underwear can’t help Tiger Woods’s cause.
Grade: D- (no socks, no shoes, no underwear, no belt, shirts which only have a left arm)
Poor Under Armour has gotten sucked into the apparel script game. They think they have to do it because everyone else does. For that their grade has been reduced from an A to a B. While this is as good a script as I’ve seen, Spieth will have to overcome playing with no underwear, no socks, and no shoes.
Grade: B (downgraded from an A because UA made a script).
Poor Rickie Fowler. Assuming he makes the cut his ONE pair of pants is going to be awfully disgusting by the time Sunday afternoon rolls around, especially when he has no underwear either. Knowing that perhaps Puma should have picked a darker color, like brown. While Rickie’s script does have shoes, why three pairs? Is he going barefoot on Sunday? No socks either. Sunday’s round in gross pants, free-balling, and with no shoes? This should be interesting.
Grade: F (no 4th pair of shoes, one pair of pants, no socks, no underwear, one shirt with only a left arm, three shirts with no arms, one outerwear unit with one left arm).
Sure I didn’t cover every script out there. I simply don’t have the time because I’m working on my own PGA Championship apparel script and beer scripting. Stay tuned for those soon.
The fourth major championship is upon us! It’s one of the greatest events in golf, the PGA Championship. Rory McIlory appears to be on the way, Jordan Spieth is vying for a 3rd major in a year, Tiger Woods “might” be on the comeback, Whistling Straits is a fantastic venue. So many great golf stories to choose from.
Good for golf? Probably not. Good for hits and clickbait? Absolutely
So what does Golf.com choose to offer its readers on the eve of this smorgasboard of great golf stories and angles? What brilliant journalistic excellence does this great golf media outlet grace its intelligent, discerning, classy readers with?
If you’d like some mild entertainment, type in the words “golfers are” into Google’s search and see what Google autocompletes for you.
Google’s autocomplete is simply producing the most popular searches, showing that the general public does not think too highly of us golfers.
Credit to Twitter user @TwoInchesShort for this sadly entertaining find.