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Kid Rock gives Tiger personal hygiene advice...

Kid Rock gives Tiger personal hygiene advice…

Wow the copycat golf sites are blowing up with this incredible news that Kid Rock gave Tiger Woods advice.  I love how they all type the same story.  Giving Tiger advice seems to be the hippest thing anyone can do now.   I’m sure the advice Kid Rock gave to Tiger was all regarding personal hygiene…

Since about 100 golf sites have written this same story I decided to dig deeper for the REAL Tiger Woods advice story.  There are actually quite a few musicians who are offering up their advice and expertise for Tiger.  See this short list below.

  • Keith Richards is giving Tiger Woods advice on how to stay attractive as he grows older.
  • Lady Gaga is giving Tiger advice on how to wear a meat suit.
  • Pete Townshend is giving Tiger advice on what it is like to be a woman trapped in a man’s body.
  • Kenny G is giving Tiger Woods advice on how to play the kazoo.
  • Madonna is giving Tiger advice on falling down, and a bonus bit on how to have sex with Dennis Rodman.
  • Coldplay is giving advice to Tiger on how to create sappy, mind-numbing gutless music that induces suicidal reactions from listeners.
  • Hootie and the Blowfish are giving advice to Tiger on how to be completely vanilla.
  • Pearl Jam is giving Tiger advice on how to make whiny mumbling nasal “Seattle” rock.
  • Black Eyed Peas are giving Tiger Woods advice on how to fake EVERY single thing they do in a performance.
  • Miley Cyrus is giving Tiger advice on how to twerk.
  • Yoko Ono is giving Tiger Woods advice on how to ruin the best band the world has ever seen.
  • Dave Mathews band is giving Woods advice on how to croon like a drunk Kermit the frog.  (Thanks to Jeff Weis).
  • Phish gives Tiger Woods advice on making his fans believe he’s good.
  • Justin Bieber gives Tiger advice on how to be irritating.
  • Creed gives Tiger advice on producing one product and repackaging it into the same product, year after year.
  • Michael Jackson gives Woods advice on prescription medication and entertaining young boys.
  • David Bowie gives Tiger apparel advice.  Now working with Nike Golf on Tiger’s apparels scripts.
  • Lynard Skynard gives Tiger advice on redneck culture.
  • Grateful Dead… no matter how bad they are, just like Tiger, fans continue to show up and watch them.
  • Prince gives Tiger advice on being tall.
  • Bruce Springsteen gives Tiger advice on how to sing entire albums without even mistakenly hitting a right note.
  • U2 gives Tiger advice on arrogance.
  • Amy Winehouse gives Tiger advice on wasting immense talent.
  • John Mayer gives Tiger Woods advice on being insufferable.

I’m sure there are more… comment in your own!  It’s fun!

 

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