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Need Some Fresh Golf Tips? Try Your Horoscope

Written by: Tony Korologos | Date: Tuesday, September 16th, 2014
Categories: GolfMiscellaneous

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I was thumbing through the newspaper at lunch today.  For those who don’t know, a newspaper is a big piece of paper with news printed on it.  I haven’t read a horoscope in years, but happened onto it so I checked mine (Libra).

“A problem is likely to occur when you become too immersed in an issue.”

Woa.  I couldn’t help thinking they were talking about my short game.  Perhaps I’m over thinking my short game?  Too immersed?  Maybe I should relax and let it flow, rather than being so hyper focused on it?

I decided I should check out the other horoscopes and that’s when I realized that this set from Jacqueline Bigar was 90% usable for the golf world if I just used the last sentence of each one.  My golf interjections are in (parentheses).

Aries

As the day goes on, you might need some time to tackle a problem (with your putting).

Taurus

Act quickly and ask questions (to your golf instructor).

Gemini

You might feel confused (because this damn game is hard!).

Cancer

You’ll have the energy and right attitude to get past any problems (with your greens in regulation).

Leo

You will have no choice but to deal with the issue (of the yips).

Virgo

You might decide to go out on your own (for nine more holes).

Libra

A problem is likely to occur when you become too immersed in an issue (like your short game).

Scorpio

Your ability to see past the obvious defines a situation. (No way around it. You are a hack)

Sagittarius

Stop resisting, and be open to the process. (Tiger Woods…. “its a process’).

Capricorn

Consider your options, and decide not to fight what the majority wants.  (Get in the skins game you pussy!)

Aquarius

You might decide that you have had enough and head in a different direction.  (Time to take up bowling as a hobby)

Pisces

Your caring toward a loved one won’t go unnoticed.  (Said the golf gods.  Thanks SO much for replacing your divots, raking the bunkers, and fixing your ball marks!)

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