I can barely walk right now. On the 4th hole today I stepped into the cart with my left foot. I put my weight on that leg and then my foot slipped out completely, throwing all my body weight into the cart. My right shin took the entire force of my body weight as it hit the side rail of the cart. My shin hurt like hell and then went numb. Then it felt like it was frozen. In fact, from my mid shin down, my entire leg felt like it was frozen.
My playing partner looked at it and said he saw a dent in my shin. OMG I dented my freakin’ shin. Thrilling.
I’m gimping around and on the 14th hole I look down and my shin had swollen. It looked like it had a half a baseball under the skin. My skin had no felling at all. I could touch the welt and felt nothing. It felt like I’d been to the dentist and had a local anesthetic on that area.
I’m icing it now, with a frozen pack of guacamole.
MEMO TO GOLF COURSES: DON’T ARMORALL THE FREAKING FLOOR OF THE CARTS. I MAY BREAK MY NECK AND SUE YOU INTO THE NEXT SOLAR SYSTEM.