My rich uncle couldn’t use his Utah Jazz tickets a couple of nights ago. The Jazz were at home playing the Los Angeles Clippers (they won 102-98). I was happy to do my uncle a favor and take his place so the tickets managed to be used. It really sucked. He’s a VIP and pays major bucks for those tickets. The two seats are courtside, on the center line, 2nd row. $400 a seat. A little math (41 home games plus preseason), and you start to realize a pair season tickets in these seats are around $40K. Chump change.

Sitting in these VIP seats has some great advantages

1. You can smell the perfume of the cheerleaders and personally note weather each one has in “inney” or an “outey.”
2. You can smell the players’ BO.
2.5. You can try to read what the players’ tattoos say.
3. You can hear the players and coaches swearing at the refs.
4. Munch on free dinner before the game!
5. Free parking.
6. But perhaps the best advantate is the FREE BEER before the game and at half time. This is a major plus. That’s why the courside seats always seem to fill in late in the beginning of the game and at half time: free beer.

I’ve sat in these seats a bunch of times and every time it amazes me the size and beef level of these players. Not only are these players giant and musclebound, they run like deer and can jump insanely high. Golfers are not athletes compared to NBA players, no way.