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Hack Central

Written by: Tony Korologos | Date: Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
Categories: Hackers

There’s a course about 5 minutes from my house that I avoid at all costs, almost. This is a poorly designed 18 hole course in the space a 9 hole course should occupy. The fairways are right next to each other with no trees so it’s like a battle zone.

I was really needing to play so I ran over to “Hack Central” and got on the waiting list. I was called to the tee with a threesome. I parked myself on the back tees and the threesome was two tees up. I hit my drive and then went down to their tees and introduced myself.

Just seeing these hacks was mind boggling. They must have all come straight from work. They were all wearing long sleeve button up dress shirts and cords. Good grief. One of the dudes was a very big and muscular black guy. He looked like a linebacker for an NFL team.

The linebacker hit the funniest drive I’ve ever seen. He teed his ball up and swung as hard as he could with all of that muscle. His driver just grazed the ball. It “tinked” the ball so lightly that the ball just spun around on the tee! This 240 pound man of a man just hit a golf ball with all of his might and didn’t even knock it off the tee! One in a million.

Oh, I forgot to mention that they all took their shirts off too. Man I was embarrassed. So here are 3 guys in cords with no shirts on golfing. Oh don’t think the pro shop at “Hack Central” cares if you have a collared shirt. They don’t care if you have shirt at all.

The guy takes another mighty swing with his driver and slices it OB. Now he’s going to play smart. He takes his 3 iron out and shanks it right into the cart where his other two shirtless buddies are already talking on their cell phones.

The rest of the round was me giving them all a golf etiquette lesson. They’d start telling a joke right in my backswing. They would be laughing or walking around right behind me while I was putting. What a mental test.

Somehow I managed a 76, but that will be my last trip to Hack Central.

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